Napier_E36 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2004 these came straight out of my email, just copied and pasted, figured they were funny enough to share... 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER: Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long! word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
*sic 1 Report post Posted April 25, 2004 yea i remember a list like that from a few years ago.. still pretty crack up. another one (which you should all know why) why is the sky blue when space is black? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dave 2 Report post Posted April 25, 2004 Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? thats dumb!!! but so true! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lowbm 0 Report post Posted April 25, 2004 (edited) You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? The funny thing is, they arent black. and are destructible. dam heavy too. Edited April 25, 2004 by lowbm Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
