jus funny, read!

[dave 2]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ

so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have

never figured out why men think with their head and women think with

their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets

thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the

passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like

it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every

husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my

emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs

as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just

love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with

her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on

several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one

to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to

compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of

diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited, she must have

thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all

dear, lets go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I

blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff

for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man

enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,

"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy

you?"

Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly

over a frozen hell.

[Napier_E36 0]

haha that takes BALLS!

[aliluya 0]

Thats some funny sh*t dude ... :mosh:

[Guest Spargo]

Awesome. :mosh:

[*sic 1]

true, true.

[HOMAGE 0]

that one hit the spot.... awesome man :thumb:

[Homy.D.Clown 0]

if only you could survive actually doin that....i say shes now killing him..ever so slowly - they love the suffering