Blatantly Stolen

[Gus 5]

from another forum...but its funny

NEW WORDS FOR 2005

TESTICULATING Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline

was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps

on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and

advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming

upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a

cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going

on. This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What

yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops

working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and

whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the #$%^ out of an

electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above

the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are

often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they

were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded

"administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.

404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message

"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be

located.

OHNOSECOND That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that

you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all') New

Oxford Dictionary definitions

GOING FOR A McS#$T Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention

of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a

pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their

food afterwards is known as a McS#$t with Lies.

BEER COAT The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a

booze cruise at 3am in the morning.

BEER COMPASS The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home

after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where

you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

BOBFOC Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

BREAKING THE SEAL Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of

drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to

the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of

the night.

BRITNEY SPEARS Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please"

JOHNNY-NO-STARS A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical

adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes

from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants

often wear to show their level of training.

MONKEY BATH A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:

"Oo!Oo!Ho! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while

you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the

unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when

you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning

before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and

leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

NELSON MANDELA Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).

PEARLHARBOUR Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a

bit PearlHarbour" out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)

SALAD DODGER An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

[bimmer boy 21]

BEER COAT The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a

booze cruise at 3am in the morning.

haha the coat is so much warmer than normal ones, I wish I was always wearing it

[*sic 1]

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the #$%^ out of an

electronic device to get it to work again.

aka the "gus special"

[aliluya 0]

Some of thats quite funny ...