*Glenn* 854 Report post Posted October 1, 2008 (edited) A LOVING HUSBAND A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: 'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain..do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!' His wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I Love you, too.' Edited October 1, 2008 by *Glenn* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
greenday-rulz21 6 Report post Posted October 1, 2008 lmao Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
M325is 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2008 Sick, but great! Be strong guys! Kinda reminds me of Derailed, watched that the other night, that was sick but the ending compensated for it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Braeden320 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2008 Gold!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cale 36 Report post Posted October 2, 2008 Bwahaha!! Awesome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SamSpargo Report post Posted October 2, 2008 A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored out of their minds. "How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile. "Lets have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist. "Lets have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer. "Lets have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile. "Lets have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac. Silence took over... then everyone turned to the masochist and asked: "So, what's it gonna be?" To which he replies, "Meow!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SamSpargo Report post Posted October 2, 2008 After winning the Junior UK hide and seek championships, Shannon Matthews will now travel abroad to take on the current European Champion, Madeleine McCann. Correction: the current European champion is in fact Anne Frank, who successfully hid for almost 5 years before being caught. Maddie has only been gone about 18 months. Besides, we all know she's buried in the woods. Further correction: Anne Franks record was broken by Austrian Elisabeth Fritzl, who was hidden for 24 years. But Elisabeth Fritzl was disqualified because she had help from her Dad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Simon* Report post Posted October 2, 2008 Sam where do you get this hilarious filth mate. It's fantastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SamSpargo Report post Posted October 2, 2008 www.sickipedia.org Enjoy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
