Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
bumpstop325

Newbie E30 Owners FAQ

Recommended Posts

I noticed that a certain other E30 message board complimented us for being so good about addressing some of the more basic questions from new E30 owners.

I think we all agree, so I thought I would just gather a few of the most popular questions and the answers in case any of the recent notoriety attracts any new members here to our site.

Q: Should I use Platinum spark plugs in my E30?

A: Yes. They make a dandy replacement for the cigarette lighter element. If you must, you also can use them in your engine but the only purpose they serve is to allow archeologists centuries from now to do carbon dating when they dig your E30 up out of a landfill.

Q: Where can I track down other E30 owners in my area?

A: Go to Home Depot and look for the crowd buying up all the diffuser lighting panels or Krylon barbeque spray paint. That will be them.

Q: How can I get a drink holder to fit in my E30?

A: You don’t need one. Just hook a flexible hose under the right side dash and wait for a rainy day.

Q: Why is my trunk full of water all the time?

A: It was BMW’s primitive effort at a self-leveling suspension system. Don’t forget to drain it at least every 3,000 miles.

Q: What modifications would be most cost-effective for my E30?

A: None. Most of us could never economically rationalize most of the upgrades and modifications we make on these cars. In fact, most of us are in prison for bouncing checks for parts and just use this board to stay in touch.

Q: What is the best way to restore my faded paint on the hood?

A: Paint over it.

Q: I have heard there is a way to tuck the bumpers on my pre-88 E30. Exactly how do I do it?

A: Parallel park blindfolded between two Ford Excursion SUVs.

Q: Why are my windshield wipers so jerky?

A: We try not to be so judgmental on this board.

Q: The OBC in my 325is is dim and giving funny readings. What do I do?

A: My old English poetry teacher was dim and gave funny readings, too. Anyway, consider pretending you have a 325 and just let it go.

Q: My car seems to be overheating all of a sudden. What do I do?

A: Take a rolled up wad of money and stick it into the radiator fan. If it starts to shred your money, you will get an idea of how it will feel when you have to replace your blown head gasket.

Q: Can I paint my valve cover?

A: Sure. You can also tattoo your butt but most people will not care to look at that either.

Paul "Skip" Heagen

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yeah, Im sure a lot of that also applies to E36s.... Just buy a mechanical warranty with the car and she'll be all gravy....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Q: My car seems to be overheating all of a sudden. What do I do?

A: Take a rolled up wad of money and stick it into the radiator fan. If it starts to shred your money, you will get an idea of how it will feel when you have to replace your blown head gasket.

hahaha solid solid advice.

i love it.

get a honda :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...