Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
briancol

School 1957 vs 2007 a Friday funny

Recommended Posts

Scenario :

Jack goes rabbit shooting before school,

pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's rifle,

goes to his car and gets his rifle & chats with Jack about guns.

2007 - School goes into lock down, Star Force called, Jack hauled off to jail

and never sees his ute or gun again. Counsellors called in

for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario:

Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.

Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark.

Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario:

Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1957 - Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Principal.

Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie.

Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state

because Robbie has a disability.

Scenario :

Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car

and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal,

goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.

Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang.

State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers

being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.

Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario :

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with.

2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations.

Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario :

Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state.

Newspaper articles appear nationally

explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.

AFRE files class action lawsuit against state school system

and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum.

Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up

mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario :

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,

puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a bullant nest.

1957 - Ants die.

2007- Star Force, Federal Police & Anti-terrorism Squad called.

Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, Feds investigate parents,

siblings removed from home, computers confiscated,

Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list

and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario :

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.

He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.

She faces 3 years in Prison.

Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

soooooooooooo true, what about johnny getting caught with a europlate :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm going to make a machine that beats my children. 'Wasn't me officer, it was the machine'

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That last one forgot about the playground where Johnny fell over being ripped up because it was unsafe.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When i was in primary a kid got his head stuck in those twin bar slide things. Teachers buttered his face up to get him out.

These days, they would get the bloody jaws of life or something

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...