pjay 8 Report post Posted February 18, 2009 Some Interesting Body Statistics It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb). The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. Women blink twice as often as men. The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain. Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still. If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it. Women reading this will be finished now. Men are still busy checking their thumbs.. . ************************************************** *One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing. ************************************************** A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out." ************************************************** Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband. ************************************************** A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy." ************************************************** Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay." ************************************************** A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Simon* Report post Posted February 18, 2009 Gold Cheers Peter Stolen and fwd'ed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
_BRS_ 208 Report post Posted February 18, 2009 hahaha awesome reading, cheers dude Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tire 10 Report post Posted February 18, 2009 mint Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
M325is 0 Report post Posted February 19, 2009 To save starting a new thread... WIFE: - What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: - Definitely not! WIFE: - Why not – don’t you like being married? HUSBAND: - Of course I do. WIFE: - Then why wouldn’t you remarry? HUSBAND: - Okay, I’d get married again. WIFE: - You would? (with a hurtful look on her face). HUSBAND: - (makes audible groan) WIFE: - Would you live in our house? HUSBAND: - Sure, it’s a great house. WIFE: - Would you sleep with her in our bed? HUSBAND: - Where else would we sleep? WIFE: - Would you let her drive my car? HUSBAND: - Probably, it’s almost new. WIFE: - Would you replace my pictures with hers? HUSBAND: - That would be the proper thing to do. WIFE: - Would she use my golf clubs? HUSBAND: - No, she’s left-handed. WIFE: - Silence HUSBAND: - BUGGER ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bravo 34 Report post Posted February 19, 2009 Steve was dying of cancer. One evening over drinks at the Golf Club he made a big deal of telling everyone at the Club he was dying of AIDS. Later that evening his best mate Rob came up to him and whispered "Why are you telling everyone you're dying of AIDS when you told me the other day at your place you were dying of cancer?" Steve replied - "I don't want any of these pricks f**king my wife once I'm gone". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nobimmer 694 Report post Posted February 19, 2009 ^^ haha Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
