Napier_E36 0 Report post Posted October 13, 2005 Last one for now... IRISH CONFESSION Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And, who was the woman you were with?" "I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?" "I cannot say." "Was it Patricia Kelly?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Liz Shannon?" "I'm sorry, but I can't name her." "Was it Cathy Morgan?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Fiona McDonald, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend church mass for three months. Be off with you now." Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" "Three month's vacation and five good leads!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
topless 7 Report post Posted October 14, 2005 now here's a thing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
318is 0 Report post Posted October 20, 2005 Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie & they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell rang so loudly it flew off, clattering across the ground & laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest & bent over to pick it up. Then all the other bells started to ring.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cwh_27 0 Report post Posted November 20, 2005 Thought this would be appropriate. Whats the difference between a hedgehog and a BMW..... The pricks are on the inside. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
E30stz 0 Report post Posted November 20, 2005 old is an understatement ... lame is a compliment ... bad taste Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
318is 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 A man takes his wife to a live stock show. They start heading down the alley that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bulls stall states: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, isn't that nice" They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You could learn from this one" They proceed to the last bull and his sign says: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wifes mouth drops open and says, "WOW He mated 365 times last year, thats ONCE A DAY You could really learn from this one." The fed up man turns to his wife and says "Go up and inquire if he had to f**k the same cow every day." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
