camera doctor 25 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 Sorry if you have seen this before, but I thought it was rather good Understanding Engineers - One Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway." Understanding Engineers - Two To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. Understanding Engineers - Three A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" Understanding Engineers - Four What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets. Understanding Engineers - Five The graduate with a science degree asks," Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" Understanding Engineers - Six Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?" Understanding Engineers - Seven Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. Understanding Engineers - Eight An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Greg111 13 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 Haha so true, very funny Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Creaver 55 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 Haha, very nice find. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dcm17 0 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 hahaha Ive got to send this to my engineer mate:P Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mike 1 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 hear them all the time, particularly the civil build targets one from the mech guys. the arts student one is a favourite of ours tho, they just bite at even the slightest sound of someone mocking their degree. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pjay 8 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 lol. dad would love that. *forward* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elmarco 56 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 Go the engineers!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sammy J 1 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 haha thats gold! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hbmonkeyman 0 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 Haha that is the best thing i've seen all day Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nic325i 0 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 Another oldie - no offense to any accountants... "A group of engineers were traveling on a train with a group of accountants. Each of the accountants had their own train ticket, but the group of engineers had only one ticket for all of them. The accountants started laughing and snickering about how the engineers would be fined and thrown off the train. Anyway, they saw the conductor coming, at which point all of the engineers dashed into the bathroom. The accountants were puzzled. The conductor came aboard and said "tickets please" and got tickets from all the accountants. He then went to the bathroom and knocked on the door and said "ticket please" and the engineers stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and then the engineers came out of the bathroom a few minutes later. The accountants were a bit hacked off, and felt really stupid. On the return trip the accountants were determined not to let the engineers get one over them again, so they bought only one ticket as well. They were slightly amazed though, for none of the engineers bought tickets at all. On the train, the accountants spotted the conductor and they and the engineers raced to the bathrooms, where they waited. Then, before the conductor came on board, one of the engineers left the bathroom, knocked on the other bathroom, and said "ticket please." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bravo 35 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 (edited) Nice. I've heard that joke told as a racist joke. Yours is much better. Edited June 24, 2008 by bravo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nobimmer 694 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 ^^ellaborate?(sp) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Creaver 55 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 ^^ellaborate?(sp) The engineers use the ticket the accountants bought. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Simon* Report post Posted June 23, 2008 Haha fools Graham's comment surely doesn't need elaboration, it's pretty obvious And Ian, I hope you're joking mate Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Creaver 55 Report post Posted June 23, 2008 Haha fools Graham's comment surely doesn't need elaboration, it's pretty obvious And Ian, I hope you're joking mate I reread it, and can't see what's wrong with what I said? Perhaps i'm just having a blonde moment or something. Engineers use accountants ticket and accountants have no ticket to use on the train? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Simon* Report post Posted June 23, 2008 I reread it, and can't see what's wrong with what I said? Perhaps i'm just having a blonde moment or something. Engineers use accountants ticket and accountants have no ticket to use on the train? Yes you're quite correct (not an accountant are you? ), but that wasn't what he was asking to elaborate on Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Creaver 55 Report post Posted June 24, 2008 Yes you're quite correct (not an accountant are you? ), but that wasn't what he was asking to elaborate on Haha, oh boy, now I feel like an idiot. Sorry! (i'm actually studying computer engineering...I think I just let the team down ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Simon* Report post Posted June 24, 2008 No worries you had me laughing I actually thought that if you'd said it on purpose it was really funny In a similar vein the other day a girl I know put some new piccies of herself on facebook and there was one of her on a cruise round sydney harbour right in front of the bridge with the caption "Guess where I am?" So I put up "On a boat?" So your unintentional joke appealed to my sense of humour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Creaver 55 Report post Posted June 24, 2008 Haha, oh boy, you crack me up Simon. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
