*Glenn* 854 Report post Posted October 2, 2008 (edited) In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it's generic name is Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin. Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO (mountain dew) Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. Edited October 2, 2008 by *Glenn* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
briancol 3 Report post Posted October 2, 2008 What a relief, I can now go to the pub and not suffer 'Brewers Droop' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
*Glenn* 854 Report post Posted October 2, 2008 What a relief, I can now go to the pub and not suffer 'Brewers Droop' When I last went to the chemists to pick up my Viagra supply, I asked the girl behind the counter to cut them in quarters for me. She looked at me all stupid and said " they won't work like that" I said " yes they do, I dont want an erection, I just want to stop pissing on my slippers" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CamB 48 Report post Posted October 2, 2008 Heard about the new Viagra eye drops? They don't give you an erection but they make you look hard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yuen 16 Report post Posted October 2, 2008 When I last went to the chemists to pick up my Viagra supply, I asked the girl behind the counter to cut them in quarters for me. She looked at me all stupid and said " they won't work like that" I said " yes they do, I dont want an erection, I just want to stop pissing on my slippers" Hahhaa... you don't need Viagra, you just need to stand closer! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
E30 325i Rag-Top 2919 Report post Posted October 2, 2008 An English tourist in Aussie spent all day lying in the sun, without and sun-block on and as you would expect he got very badly burnt, especially on the tops of his legs and his stomach. The burns were so bad they were assessed as third-degree burns with the added complication of sunstroke, and as a result the guy had to be admitted into hospital to help him recover. When he was admitted to the ward, the Doctor prescribed him some pain killers, a big bottle of calamine lotion and some Viagra. The nurse who took the prescription told the Doctor that the man was in no fit state to be thinking about sex. So the Doctor replied.... "I'm don't want him to have sex, I just want to keep the bed sheets off his burns!" Boom, Boom! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SamSpargo Report post Posted October 3, 2008 a Muslim, a homosexual, a rapist, a paedophile, a Jew and an Australian walked into a pub where i was drinking. I left pretty quickly. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pjay 8 Report post Posted October 3, 2008 So, a man walks into a bar.. Ouch Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jordyboy2 0 Report post Posted October 3, 2008 Three fellowes wenten into a pubbe, And gleefullye their handes did rubbe, In expectatione of revelrie, For 'twas the houre known as happye. Greate botelles of wine did they quaffe, And hadde a reallye good laffe. 'Til drunkennesse held full dominione, For 'twas two for the price of one. Yet after wine and meade and sac, Man must have a massive snack, Great pasties from Cornwalle! Scottishe eggs round like a balle! Great hammes, quaile, ducke and geese! They suck'd the bones and drank the grease! (One fellowe stood all pale and wan, For he was vegetarianne) Yet man knoweth that gluttonie, Stoketh the fyre of lecherie, Upon three young wenches round and slye, The fellowes cast a wanton eye. One did approach, with drunkene winke: "'Ello darlin', you fancy a drink?", Soon they caught them on their knee, 'Twas like some grotesque puppettrie! Such was the lewdness and debaucherie - 'Twas like a sketch by Dick Emery! (Except that Dick Emery is not yet borne - So such comparisonne may not be drawn). But then the fellowes began to pale, For quail are not the friende of ale! And in their bellyes much confusione! From their throats vile extrusione! Stinking foule corruptionne! Came spewinge forth from droolinge lippes, The fetide stenche did fille the pubbe, 'Twas the very arse of Beelzebubbe! Thrown they were, from the Horne And Trumpette, In the street, no coyne, no strumpet. Homeward bounde, must quicklie go, To that ende - a donkey stole! Their handes all with vomit greased, (The donkey was not pleased, And threw them into a ditche of shite!) They all agreed: "What a brillant night!" Love Bill Bailey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SamSpargo Report post Posted October 4, 2008 nearly as good as the existential pub joke, involving the light from a 1960's morris minor Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jordyboy2 0 Report post Posted October 5, 2008 ah i love that one Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
