Wednesday’s joke

[hybrid 1039]

GOOD, BETTER, BEST

Good

A Central Otago Traffic Patrol Cop watching for speeders, but wasn't getting many.

Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD."

The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of money.

(And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated

radar post in Central Otago with a Fine of $160 included.

Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $160

The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

Best

A young woman was pulled over for speeding.

As a Central Otago Cop walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket

book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Central Otago Police Ball."

He replied, "Central Otago Police don't have balls."

There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said.

He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.

She was laughing too hard to start her car.

*************************

[_BRS_ 208]

haha! nice one

[Braeden320 0]

LOL that last one is a cracker!

[allan 295]

It would appear that Central Otago is a place of great activity and one to avoid if you do not wish to have a run in with the local boys in blue, laughing!

Great jokes all the same.

[Nic325i 0]

In a similar vein, an oldie but a goodie, and another I found like looking for it

SMARTASS ANSWER #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMARTASS ANSWER #2 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

[*Glenn* 854]

I had a little fun yesterday with a person that was originally just wasting my time...hope it wasnt a member??

However he just wouldn't listen....

I'll call me ME and him SIR

Sir: My car wont start can you have a look

Me: What sort of car have you got

Sir: a 99 518

Me: Sorry thats not right, have a look at the badge or the rego label

Sir: Its a 99 528I..... can you have a look at it

Me: I need more info before I come and look at it. What is actually happening, is it turning over

Sir: I think it is but it wont go...can you come and have look, I'm late for work

Me: I probably cant help you at your place, I cant bring all my resources with me in a vehicle. Its best we get it towed into the workshop and deal with it here. BTW ..where do you live

Sir: In Maraetai, please come and have a look it costs too much to tow and Im in a hurry to get to work

Me:(sensing his frustration) If I come to your place, I'll probably still have to get it towed to the workshop to fix it. That just wastes my time and your money. We need to tow it here. (now I'm thinking)

Do you have bluetooth on your phone ??

Sir: Yes I think so

Me: We could try this then, turn the ignition on, have a look at your dash, see the heater controls, there are two sets of slotted vents, the one on the left is a temperature sensor, the one on the right is a mic, turn your phone volume down (so he cant hear me hang up) and hold your phone over the mic and I'll see if I can help you over the phone, hold it there for 15 minutes and then try and start it again...have you got all that.

Sir: Yes...I'll give it a go.

Me: I hang up and get on with my work ( laughing while I'm trying to work)

3/4 of an hour goes by

Phone goes...its Sir again

Sir: Still wont go

Me: Should do ...I was helping you over the phone... best we tow it in then

Sir: Yes, I spose we should, sh*t I'm late for work

Me: I give him my towing Companies phone number

Car gets here at 11.00... I scan it, confirm crankshaft position sensor, ring Sir with a price, car fixed in 1.5 hrs

He was so happy we sorted it for him

I know I was being a bit mean, however he was wasting my time by not listening to the advise I was giving him

The phone call actually went for about half an hour

You cant always help over a phone or on a forum without having the right info or the car in front of you

We do try to help, but people have to listen too

Hope you all get a giggle and hope I havent offended the owner....I was trying to help and ended up getting it done for him, but I couldnt do it over the phone...or at his place.

[Braeden320 0]

LOL..nice one Glenn, At least you got it fixed for him in the end!

[*Glenn* 854]

LOL..nice one Glenn, At least you got it fixed for him in the end!

True but it was hard work....lol

[Nobimmer 694]

^^Thats brilliant haha.

[bimmer boy 21]

Hahaha thats funny as, almost as funny as the time I called my brother to come pick me up from uni because my car wouldnt start, brother gets there and laughs so hard at me and ask if I always try to start the car in drive. Bugger, was embarassed as.