Learning how to use anger management

[3 SERIES 92]

Learning how to use anger management.........

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take

It out on someone . Don't take it out on someone you know, take it out

On someone you don't know!

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to

Make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying 'Hello.'

I politely said, 'This is Chris.

Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f--k ing

Number and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down

Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally

Transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an a**hole and

Hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'a**hole' next to it, and

Put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or

Was having a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an a**hole

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic a**hole calling

Would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the

Telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller

ID Program for your telephone service?'

He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said , 'That's because you're an a**hole

And hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had

Patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that

Parking spot, but the idiot ignored me. Then I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back

window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first a**hole (I had his

Number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW a**hole,

Too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said, 'Yes, it is.'

I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax .

It's a yellow ranch house, and the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?' He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

I asked, ' When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said, 'Yes?'

I said, 'Don, you're an a**hole!'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now,

When I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea.

I called a**hole #1.

He said, 'Hello.'

I said, 'You're an a**hole!'

(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah.'

He screamed, 'Stop calling me!'

I said, 'Make me.'

He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said, 'a**hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a yellow

Ranch house and I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don.

And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, a**hole,' and hung up.

Then I called a**hole No. 2.

He said, 'Hello?'

I said, 'Hello, a**hole .'

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said, 'You'll what?'

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,'

I answered, 'Well , a**hole, here's your chance.

I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at

34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that my gay lover was on his way over to

kill me.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree

Blvd. in Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I got there just

in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of

cops, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

You know, this anger management stuff really works. Have a nice day

[*Glenn* 854]

Ha Ha

[westy 614]

Nice but you spelt a**hole wrong.

E: bugger!

Edited January 23, 2009 by tony.