pjay 8 Report post Posted July 14, 2009 Remuera Barbie: This modern day princess homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a Masters degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with a Prozac prescription and Botox, Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing and is often "working late". Available at all Newmarket-area Starbucks retailers. North Shore (Takapuna, Milford, Devonport) Barbie: This Barbie is only sold at Smith & Caughey. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer and a long-haired foreign lap dog named "Honey". Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift and breast augmentation. Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche. Otara Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm Glock handgun, switchblade, '78 Holden Ute with dark tinted windows and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at participating pawn shops. Henderson Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Massey Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Holden Ute Convertible separately and get Fly Buys points absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at any Warehouse Store. Massey Barbie sold separately. Massey Barbie: This model comes dressed in her own Levi jeans 2 sizes too small, "It's All About Me" T- shirt and a Guns and Roses tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six pack of Lucky and comes with Metallica CDs. She can spit over a distance of 2 meters and kick Mullet-Haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconia ring that Ken gave her after their last big fight. Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at K-Mart. Onehunga Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a 2 litre of Pepsi and a DPB cheque. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Ford pickup are optional. Available at The Warehouse. Great Barrier Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no make-up and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not have, want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at the ferry terminal. Ponsonby Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work and hangs out at SPQR. Likes to "experiment", but will never commit. This model is being phased out. Grey Lynn Barbie: With dark EMO-like hair cut, lip piercing and op-shop outfit. Comes with Cult film DVD collection and Eden's bar member's pass, this barbie is too cool for school... Also available is her 5 bedroom slightly run down but arty and daggy Grey Lynn villa which she shares with 6 like-minded BA students. Available now from BFM or Groovy Records. Hamilton Barbie: Available as part of the new Auckland Barbie range for one night only, she's only going to set you back twenty dollars, the same price as 'ten bucks for gas and a bottle of Kristov'! Thats so cheap anybody can have her! Full range of accessories including STD testing kit, Mazda 323 or Ford Lazer Hatch with authentic broken tail light and Repco licenced racing pedals, Limp Bizkit CD and Alcatel one touch easy. Nylon Quicksilver or Rip Curl wallet also included. Also available with Hamilton Barbie is Bitter-Ex Ken. Have hours of fun watching Ken use physical threats and emotional blackmail on Hamilton Barbie. Ken comes served with a restraining order and a fifty bag. Hamilton Barbie is only available at the Bombay McDonalds and select Papakura house parties. Get yours today! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JiB 0 Report post Posted July 14, 2009 I like the Grey Lynn one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OLLIE 26 Report post Posted July 14, 2009 the last 2 are gold, nice! Browns Bay Barbie: Cums weeth a selection uf dried meats, rusks and milk terts. Attitude, Abruptness and stale husband ken included. role model children sold separately. "stop staring at moi arrrse" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mikal 4 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 If barbie lived in south auckland... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
laadeelaa 0 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 Yus! No Tauranga Barbie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SIR E30 68 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 Hamilton cracks me the F up. Its so true.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nobimmer 694 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 North shore is hardly true! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grant 4 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 (edited) Yus! No Tauranga Barbie.The Hamilton one applies equally to the Tauranga one. Both small cities with inferiority complexes. Before anyone gets defensive, I was born in Tauranga and lived the majority of my life in Hamilton. Overall these are very funny and pretty damned accurate. Cheers Grant Edited July 15, 2009 by Grant Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
*Glenn* 854 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 Yus! No Tauranga Barbie. We don't need one Em.... we got you ......no offence intended (joke) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
laadeelaa 0 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 Gee thanks Glenn. Do you want your beer/chocolates or what? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apex 693 Report post Posted July 15, 2009 (edited) If barbie lived in south auckland... Careful, plenty of stunning cultured professional women out south, don’t make bring up what Whangarei's youth are perceived as.. anyone watch Close Up last night That is funny though, im sure there are Manu Babies in every city. Edited July 15, 2009 by Apex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mikal 4 Report post Posted July 16, 2009 Careful, plenty of stunning cultured professional women out south, don’t make bring up what Whangarei's youth are perceived as.. anyone watch Close Up last night That is funny though, im sure there are Manu Babies in every city. Haha yea thats just how i got it in an email.. I didn't mean any offence to south girls. Whats this about whangarei youth? eh? Haha Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
318isCoupe 0 Report post Posted July 19, 2009 Yus! No Tauranga Barbie. most of them are pretty similar to the hamilton barbie to be honest haha, + more makeup & platinum blonde dye.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
