The official F1 2012 Thread

[Guest Ari Gold]

Shamelessly stolen, eerily accurate:

Red Bull

These be tha cats to beat in tha big oh twelve season. They got ma bro Sebby V, and man that boy be good. Too good fo’ he’s team mate, my homie M Web. But that don’ matter cuz that cat only wanna be on tha podium so he get tha free orange juice. Yea. Course, these brothers ain’t nuthin’ without a sweet set of wheels, which is why they be hangin’ wit’ ma favourite muthaflickin’ Poindexter, Neweytron 5000. That damn geek, he come up wit’ a new car that be runnin’ tha stippy step nose an’ sh*t. Man, that be ugly. It also got some slot in tha nose that Nerdytron say be fo’ driver coolin’. That be bullshit. It look like it fo’ making muthashuppin’ toast. It look like sh*t but it gonna be quick. Fo’ champizzles.

McLaren

Hot damn, tha Mac be back and they be ‘bout tha only team that ain’t running with tha stippy step on that front. They be rollin’ the sweetest sweet ass ride on tha grid. Sweet. And they got two of tha fastest cats in tha ‘hood too. Ma homie Jenny B run it smooth and low las’ season, and it be good to see he concentratin’ more on drivin’ than on shavin’. It worked for Crazy D too. Kinda. J Bu’s wingman is ma buddy Tha Ham. Now he be one fast cat, but that muthafunker, he gotta get he’s head togetha. Snatch befo’ set-up ain’t cool bro. Fo’ scherzizzle.

Ferrari

These homies have had a whole off-season to think of excuses fo’ why they ain’t doin’ good, and in they spare time they also designed a car. From muthafunkin’ Lego! Let’s be hopin’ these brothers spend mo’ time racin’ and less time complainin’ this season cuz they got tha tools to get tha job done. They got ma main man Nando, an’ he’s job is to win races. Plus, they got ma boy Filly M, an’ he’s job is to crash into Tha Ham an’ make sure another driver don’ get tha second seat at Ferrari. Fo’ inadequatizzle.

Mercedes

Mercedes got a lotta things goin’ fo’ them, but mos’ of all they got tha guvnor, Rossy B. Now this be a cat that don’ like a shave. No sir. An’ Crazy D admire that, cuz tha D been there heself. It kinda liberating, and it give Ro Bra the extra time he save not shavin’ to spend mo’ time desiginin’. Boom! If he make a kick ass car, that gonna be good news for ma homie NiRo. Man, that kid’s drivin’ be almost as nice as he’s hair. Also, bein’ lowered gently into tha Mercedes, be ma brother Mickey Schu. Now tha’s a cat that jus’ won’ quit. Seven world muthafartin’ championships and he still tryin’. That be insane in tha brain. He shoulda followed tha Crazy D plan – no world championships, can’t get a seat, retire. Fo’ embarrassizzle.

Lotus

Man, there be too many Lotuses in tha F1 las’ year. But every ting gonna be alright, cuz now they jus’ be one, and it these cats what used to be Renault or some sh*t. Yea. They got tha stippy step nose and all tha chops, but tha main thang they got tha’s new is ma solid homie K Raik. Yea, that monosyllabic muthafunker be back! That be good news fo’ tha F1 cuz that homie can drive, and man, he don’ give a sh*t unless he be takin’ one. Know wha’am sayin’? Along wit’ Tha Raikkomaster, new Only Lotus be havin’ ma buddy RoGro. That be two comebacks in one team. Who they hirin’ next? Muthalumpin’ Elvis? Fo’ comebackspecizzle.

Force India

Crazy D love tha cool cats at Fo’ Cindia. Me especially love ma main man VJ Mal. He be tha dude, and boy he like two things. Cigars, and eatin’. I once saw he put sauce on a chair and then eat it. Fo’ sho. The other thing he like be F1 racin’ and that be fortunate cuz he own a muthaflickin’ team! Well, some of it. This year Crazy D be delighted to report, they be keepin’ ma so solid homie, P Diddy Resta. Och aye tha muthaf**kin’ noo bro. They also running ma buddy Tha Hulk and he be good too. He jus’ need to be a bit mo’ Scotch. Fo’ bagpipperizzle.

Sauber

Kickin’ it old skool, P Saub by makin’ another sweet ass Swiss slaphead solo effort, wit’ tha engines from Fo’ Rari. Tha instruction manual be jus’ a list of excuses why it ain’t workin’ right. Fo’ joking! So fo’ tha big twenty twelve, Tha Saub be stickin’ wit’ ma homie Tha Bash. Man, that little Japanese cat, he love to overtake. And drive into sh*t. Bam! He sure got spirit. And sometimes, he steer like he been drinkin’ it. ‘Longside K-to-tha-K, they got ma hombre S P’rez. That dude be puttin’ in some solid performances. Fo’ dependabilitizzle.

Toro Rosso

These cats can fly but they ain’t always so hot. This year, they got tha stippy step, they got tha engine from Fezrizzle, but man I hope they ain’t hopin’ to keep they muthaflippin’ no claims bonus cuz they runnin’ wit’ two homies who ain’t got tha experience. An’ in F1, it all about tha experience, on and off tha track. Yea, tha ladeez know wha’am sayin’. Smooooth. So they got ma buddy D Ricci, and that kid jus’ gotta keep on keepin’ on. Then they got ma bro Jean E V, and he be pullin’ some sweet moves in tha F-to-tha-3, but he gotta make that stick now he rollin’ wit’ tha big boys. Fo’ inexperiencizzle.

Williams

Man, I love these homies like a brother from another mother, but they gotta get they shee-it together. And things ain’t lookin’ good when they lost F Willy and Tha Head from tha frontline, they disrespec’ ma brother Ru B and now they got Cough Xerox in charge. Oh maaaan. Still, they got ma boy Pasto Maldo. That cat gonna work hard. An’ they be runnin’ wit’ ma homie B Senn. He be cool, but if Crazy D had a dollar fo’ every time he be gonna compared to he uncle, man, Tha D be able to open another chain of hotels. Fo’ predictabizzle.

Caterham

What be goin’ on here? Did they build tha team from a box o’ parts in they garage? Ha! Crazy D make a funny. These cats was one of tha Lotuses but now they be not. They got ma homie M Gas runnin’ tha show, and he be a bad ass muthafunker, plus they got ma man Hei K on tha car, and he be a solid brother to have on yo side. One thang Tha D don’ understand is why that dude got tha Angry Birds on he helmet. What he gonna do? Fire he’s head at a muthaflunkin’ pig? In tha other car they got ma comrade Vitty P and he bring two things, talent and dollar. But a lot mo’ of one than tha other. Fo’ paydrivizzle.

HRT

Things ain’t goin’ so well fo’ these homies in tha off season, but they’s gonna show up anyway. They got ma man ‘Rain Kart in tha hot seat, at least until he find some other brother sittin’ in he’s chair again. Know wha’am sayin’? Then they be hirin’ ma bro P Delly Rosa. Yea, he back. Shows that jus’ cuz a driver be over 40, it don’t mean he can’t be in tha race. So don’ go losin’ Crazy D’s number y’all. Tha PDLR, he gonna be jus’ fine. Fo’ llinarivizzle.

Marussia

These cats used to be a Virgin and now some Russians make sure they ain’t. Trust me, that’s the kind of sh*t that can give yo hotel a bad name. So, they be havin’ some bad sh*t go down befo’ tha season start but they got ma Fozzie Bear voiced muthafunker P Symmy on speed dial and ma homie T Glozzle in tha car. They jus’ gotta watch out fo’ ma amie Chuck P in tha second car. That dude gonna have to learn fast. Fo’ backmarkizzle.

Edited March 16, 2012 by Ari Gold

[5amchris 45]

Cant wait for Sunday =)

[cliffdunedin 8]

That's awesome Ari, good job!

I can't see RedBull not taking the WDC and WCC again, unless the Mclarens, Mercedes or Ferrari's pull something out of the bag, interesting to see Kimi back but wonder if the Lotus' have the goods. Cant wait till kickoff tonight though!

[Gotheschu 1]

GO THE SCHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[E30 325i Rag-Top 2959]

Glad to see Red Bull back on the third row of the grid, but there's still a race to go through before anything can be read into those qualifying positions.

A couple of months for everyone to catch up with who ever has got a jump by bending the rules this year (looks to be Mercedes this time) and then it will be business as usual - Red Bull followed by McLaren followed by Ferrari followed by Mercedes... etc.

I hope I am totally wrong, but money still talks in F1 and that will always make it predictable.

Edited March 18, 2012 by E30 325i Rag-Top

[Gotheschu 1]

^^ Let's guess who Jack voted for, even though he doesn't have a realistic chance of winning the championship.

Glad to see Red Bull back on the third row of the grid, but there's still a race to go through before anything can be read into those qualifying positions.

A couple of months for everyone to catch up with who ever has got a jump by bending the rules this year (looks to be Mercedes this time) and then it will be business as usual - Red Bull followed by McLaren followed by Ferrari followed by Mercedes... etc.

I hope I am totally wrong, but money still talks in F1 and that will always make it predictable.

Their wing is not bending the rules John. FIA is perfectly happy with it. If you look properly you'll find that some teams are running the illegal blown diffuser exhaust systems which are being bought to the attention of the FIA after Australia as well.

Brawn added that some of the exhaust systems on other cars could also be considered illegal under the regulations and that all the talk of Mercedes' F-duct was conveniently distracting attention.

"Formula One is very competitive, the people involved in it are very competitive and it is the nature of the sport," Brawn added. "Every year that I can remember there has been debate and argument. Probably, to be honest, what we have done has taken the focus off the exhaust systems people are running because they are nowhere near what was intended by the FIA.

"The FIA told us that we were not going to have exhaust-blown diffusers anymore and we thought we weren't going to have them, yet several cars have go them. Our rear wing system has probably taken the spotlight off of what is clearly something that wasn't intended. But that's the nature of Formula One. You have to work to the regulations and if somebody can see a clever interpretation then that's the nature of our business."

Enjoy the race.

Edited March 18, 2012 by Young Jack

[E30 325i Rag-Top 2959]

The wing is outside the rules, whether FIA let Mercedes run with it is another matter. If they let it run then like I say, a couple of months for the rest to work it out and catch up.

[Gotheschu 1]

The wing is outside the rules, whether FIA let Mercedes run with it is another matter. If they let it run then like I say, a couple of months for the rest to work it out and catch up.

Yup Sorry forgot. You are the Bimmersport expert of the fine details of the regulations of all motorsport classes. Edited March 18, 2012 by Young Jack

[Greg111 13]

And of course that's the need to get upset.

[hotwire 352]

The wing is outside the rules, whether FIA let Mercedes run with it is another matter. If they let it run then like I say, a couple of months for the rest to work it out and catch up.

Yup Sorry forgot. You are the Bimmersport expert of the fine details of the regulations of all motorsport classes.

Oooooohhhh I detect a hint of sarcasm

Me, after one whole race - I'm liking Button

[E30 325i Rag-Top 2959]

Watching a documentary on the survivors of Buchenwald camp whilst typing this makes me kind of realise what's worth getting upset about. Very sobering.

Edited March 18, 2012 by E30 325i Rag-Top

[huff3r 347]

Interesting race... wonder how long it will be before the Red Bull cars are fastest again? Or maybe it's just Aussie they are slow at..

[M5V8 337]

awesome race. At one point I think there were 5 different manufacturers in the top 6.

[cliffdunedin 8]

Yep great race, fairly sure the Mercedes wing will be deemed legal or at the worst not be penalised, Ross Brawn is the magician of reading the rules between the lines (anyone remember Ferrari/Mercs and how little they have been penalised)

Kimi with a pretty solid first out, looking like it could be a really tight season.

[Grant 4]

I slept through most of it, but maybe that's because it was on at 11:30pm Saturday night here, and I had just got back from a St Paddy's night at the pub.

[M3_Power 636]

What a fantastic weekend!!!!

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1...mp;l=aabe79891b

Here are all the photos I took (was way too busy watching all the action that I barely took any photos LOL).

Few things from my track side observation (at turns one and two) and overall weekend experience:

1. Redbull is still cold blowing the diffuser and they are the ONLY team doing it - to me blatantly flouting the rules. Sure they weren't blowing it like they were last year but it was still very obvious that they are doing it on their car. I have videos that show this.

2. The noise from one F1 car is louder than a whole bunch of V8 supercars flying past (with McLaren being the loudest out of them all, followed closely by the Redbull) ... it was sensational!! There are other noises you simply don't pick up on TV - very surprising.

3. The really good drivers stood out from the good drivers - they really do going through turns 1 and 2 for me.

4. So much hate for Michael Schumacher from long time fans at the track, was a bit surprising for me - wasn't expecting this.

5. Italian and Spanish fans are crazy.

6. Alonso fans are crazy (shouting his name and waving the Ferrari flag lap after lap without stopping !!! Dedication!!)

7. Australians appears to like Ricciardo much more than Webber (at least according to the security personnels that escort the drivers - yes I got chatting with a few of them haha).

8. Almost everyone loves Vettle and all the security guys rate him really highly as a person and as a driver taking out time for the fans.

9. Very cool to know that a few MP4-12C will appear on NZ shores very shortly : )

Edited March 20, 2012 by M3_Power

[Greg111 13]

Jones stand Tom? Gotta be the best stand for spectating I reckon.

[M3_Power 636]

Jones stand Tom? Gotta be the best stand for spectating I reckon.

No, Brabham - view's not bad for turns one and two.

We spoke to a few from Jones' stand and they said it was about the same as the Brabham in terms of view (they couldn't see the main straight either as it was blocked by the trees). The best stand is the one at the end of the chicane next to the sand pit - this is called the Chicane Stand and here you see the mainstraight, turns 1 and 2.

[Greg111 13]

Looking straight up the straight? With the two corners right in front, that would be a good stand.

[5amchris 45]

Best race iv seen in a long time!! Was a long one tho with a 1 hour red flag

[NZLSAF 0]

prior to me reading thrtough this thread, which in due time i will, but loving the bias in the voting selection.