*sic 1 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 What Porn Has Made Me Believe 1. Women wear high heels to bed. 2. Men are never impotent. 3. When going down on a woman 10 secs is more than satisfactory. 4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her. 5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm. 6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly,middle-aged men. 7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. 8. Women always orgasm when men do. 9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding fine. 10. All women are noisy ****s. 11. People in the 70's couldn't **** unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. 12. Those tits are real. 13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. 14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. 15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!) 16. Double penetration makes women smile. 17. Asian men don't exist. 18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of sh*t out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. 19. There's a plot. 20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt. 21. Nurses suck patients’ cocks. 22. Men always pull out. 23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she will only be momentarily pissed off before ****ing the both of you. 24. Women never have headaches... or periods. 25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it". 26. Assholes are clean. 27. A man ejaculating on a woman’s butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. 28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there. 29. Men don't have to beg. and finally... 30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gus 5 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 what? you mean real life isnt like that? better not let the missus know Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
*sic 1 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 what? you mean real life isnt like that? better not let the missus know i know i know!! shocked me tooseems my sex life has been apparently "porno".. she didnt seem to mind Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
*sic 1 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!) see an old favorite Gus and Andy :pimp: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nath 128 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 It doesnt take porn for one to believe all that, it takes swedish Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MattA 162 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 They missed #31 =. Chicks love to give blowjobs after you've f***ed them in the ass Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Carl 3 Report post Posted August 10, 2004 Good spotting there Matt, but you missed #32, all lesbians are hot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Spargo Report post Posted August 11, 2004 15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)see an old favorite Gus and Andy :pimp: So who is Andy high-fiving? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
*sic 1 Report post Posted August 11, 2004 15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)see an old favorite Gus and Andy :pimp: So who is Andy high-fiving? read y0! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Spargo Report post Posted August 11, 2004 15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)see an old favorite Gus and Andy :pimp: So who is Andy high-fiving? read y0! Haha read again bitch. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Carl 3 Report post Posted August 11, 2004 I don't think he got it Cilk Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
speakeasy 0 Report post Posted August 11, 2004 click that comment PWN3|)!!!!1!!!one! not only andy and gus, but absolutely pwnzored sic aswell. i think a new pwnage master has risen from the bimmersport ranks... :bowdown: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
speakeasy 0 Report post Posted August 11, 2004 34. road cones are a suitible form of sextoy... oh wait, is that just me? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Spargo Report post Posted August 11, 2004 34. road cones are a suitible form of sextoy... oh wait, is that just me? Not just you... Abby MADE us pickup a few a while ago and put them in her car. I'm not sure what happened to them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gus 5 Report post Posted August 11, 2004 eiffel tower baby chicks dig spit roasts Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bmwsparkle 3 Report post Posted August 11, 2004 you bastards picking up roadcones, make my job more sh*t then it already is Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
speakeasy 0 Report post Posted August 11, 2004 you work in a sex toy shop? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bmwsparkle 3 Report post Posted August 11, 2004 yeah, i often sell these funny things that go zzzzzz Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
speakeasy 0 Report post Posted August 11, 2004 electric road cone pleasure toys!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bmwsparkle 3 Report post Posted August 11, 2004 they are on special at the moment if you're interested man, $29.95, batteries not included Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bumpstop325 0 Report post Posted August 11, 2004 interesting, how about a gearknob??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaM 0 Report post Posted August 11, 2004 save $$$$$$ - electric toothbrushes without bristles...... cheap cheap Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
speakeasy 0 Report post Posted August 12, 2004 nah dude im good. thanks for the offer though... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
