The Funeral (A funny)

[briancol 3]

One of the country's top cardiac specialists died. At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front of a huge replica of a heart made of red roses.

When the pastor finished the sermon, and everyone said their good-byes, the large heart opened up, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed again. It was a majestic tribute to the much loved cardiologist.

Suddenly, one of the mourners burst into a fit of laughter.

Irritated by his insensitivity, the man sitting next to him asked,

"Why are you laughing, Mister?"

"I was just thinking about my own funeral," the man replied.

"I'm a gynecologist"...........

[bravo 35]

lol

[pjay 8]

speaking of rolling

http://1227.com

[briancol 3]

speaking of rolling

http://1227.com

WTF my computer has gone crazy

Good one Pjay

[Guest Simon*]

speaking of rolling

http://1227.com

Haha dammit got Rickrolled bigtime!!

[pjay 8]

iWin

[briancol 3]

iWin

I had to reboot my computer to stop it. LOL

[zenetti 0]

Haha rick got me too! Now I'm gonna get all my friends!!

Ctrl alt del seems to stop it too

Edited October 22, 2008 by zenetti

[pjay 8]

Yeah, only way is to force quit.

Heres a funny to make up for the rick

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

He said, "f**k him, give him a dollar."

The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

Edited October 22, 2008 by Pjay

[melowpuf 19]

But if you sing along to the whole song right to the very end then it lets you close it. I had to watch it again I kept getting the words wrong

[jordyboy2 0]

haha blanket email time

[Apex 693]

speaking of rolling

http://1227.com

You bastard… I have just strained my abdomen from a load outburst of laughter!! Had to Ctrl/Alt/Delete it

[pjay 8]

Another

The other day I was in the pub having a few quiet beers by myself.

The door opened and in walked the most stunning woman I've ever laideyes on. 5'9' tall, stunning blue eyes, silky blonde hair, anhourglass figure barely covered by a tiny mini skirt, and a flimsy cotton top. I could see she was not wearing a bra and her incredibly firm breastswere on show.

After watching her walk in I turned back to my beer. No sooner had I taken a sip, when I turn to see her pulling a barstool up close to me and sitting down.

She said ' Hi ', I said ' Hi' in return.She asked how I was and took my hand and placed it on her perfectinner thigh, rubbing it up and down.

'So, does that make you feel good ?' she asked.

'Yes' I dumbly replied. 'I'll bet you feel good,' she continued. 'In fact, I'll bet you'veNever felt this good before.'

'Well, as a matter of fact I have,' I corrected her. 'You see, when I was 18, I was picked to play for the school 1st. XVin the Public School Rugby Finals in front of a crowd of about 3000 and I felt really good.' I immediately felt a bit pathetic saying that, and I thought she would get up and go but she took my hand off her thighand put it up the front of her top.

Her nipple pushed into my palm as she massaged my hand into her pert,perfect breast.

'How do you feel now,' she purred.

' OK' I replied.

Again, she said, 'I'll bet you do. In fact, I'll bet you've never felt THIS good before!' Unbelievably I heard myself saying

'Well, actually I have. In thatgame, we were down by five points with about 20 seconds left in the match.The opposition kicked the ball deep into our half of the field, where Icaught it. I ran up field, side-stepping past the first few defenders, palmed off a couple of would-be tacklers, burst through a few forwards,chipped over their fullback, re-gathered and scored a Try right underthe posts with about 2 or 3 seconds 'till full time. We were stillbehind by one point, but I had a simple kick at goal with which to win the match and........

'' Arrghhh....' she growled between clenched teeth, more than a bitmiffed she pulled my hand from under her top and thrust it down thefront of her skirt. My fingers immediately met what felt like a wispof soft cotton , and, my god, was she wet!!! 'Well tell me this, Smart Ass' She snapped, 'Have you ever felt such a c*nt?' '

You bet. I missed the kick.'

[Guest Simon*]

Gold

[Mark 178]

Haha Pjay, I just Rickrolled the entire office! There's a cacophony of Rick Astley blaring from every PC! Brilliant!

[pjay 8]

Yeah, its incredibly satisfying

[Guest SamSpargo]

Disabled toilets.

Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.

[westy 614]

Hahaha.