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BBQ Rules

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BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert...

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:

(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

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Haha thanks for the good start to the morning :P

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Channel that emotion...

In the direction of the beer fridge, thanks. I'll have a Becks, and these blokes look like they could do with a refill too...

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where do I find a woman like that?

ps. since you're going to the fridge already, I'll have an Oranjeboom thanks :)

Edited by Wom

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and if he just took the last oranjeboom i'll have a hoegaarden :ph34r:

Edited by André3000

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where do I find a woman like that?

ps. since you're going to the fridge already, I'll have an Oranjeboom thanks :)

I think it develops over time, say over 21, at a young age both you and the girls are too cool for a civilised BBQ anyway.

Coopers Sparkling for me, 750mil 5.8% of win.

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I think you better hurry up on those Emily. The chef doesn't like to get thirsty.

In fact once you have them sorted, be a good girl and run down to the BP for a bag of ice. I'm thinking of your legs getting tired when I say that a few on some ice in a chilly bin out here next to our chairs wouldn't go a miss.

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Sorry Andre and Graham (Apex), you don't get your wish as you didn't use your manners like Graham, Glenn and Womble.

Chur.

And don't try sucking in your beer guts boys.

A highly attractive house b*tch like me deserves a some what ease on her eyes.

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Looks like I'm getting my second beer shortly... I'll have it in a cooler this time though... thanks. I also like kettle fries

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Jake the Muss doesn't use manners.

Neither will I.

Get me a f**ken DB b**ch.

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do as he says aye... stomp of authority right there!

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Sorry Andre and Graham (Apex), you don't get your wish as you didn't use your manners like Graham, Glenn and Womble.

Chur.

And don't try sucking in your beer guts boys.

A highly attractive house b*tch like me deserves a some what ease on her eyes.

Meh got my own ages ago, moved onto a bottle of single malt and played the helicopter game with someone’s kid then got kicked out of the BBQ and disowned by my friends and family after droping him, II thought a crash landing was part of the game :unsure:

I don’t suck in my awesome six-pac roll of beer gut for anyone, it's cost me a lot of money and represents a lush lifestyle.

Do like this BBQ post, it’s so true, what’s funny is that my missus actually goes along with it and thanks me for cooking, we both chip in with the prep and clean up though.

Also, never BBQ chicken after 6 beers.

Edited by Apex

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