I think for this type of thing brands need to recognise their loyal customers, the enthusiasts, influencers and unofficial brand ambassadors. From my understanding of your history Tom, you are all 4.
Personally in some cases I have found BMW employees to be dismissive of me (age? my gangsta steez?) - While I am a loyal brand follower and (family) influencer myself, I would never consider buying new, so I don't feel hard done by not being invited to events. However I think you should and I agree with your rant.