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Mattzy

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Posts posted by Mattzy

  12. Posted · Report reply

    nice dude the adams car man its still lookin fantastic hows yours coming? just the gauge so far? had that rb30 powerd e30 with the mag warehouse stickers al over it come into my work on saturday wow it was rugged as! drum brake rear(factory brakes on a turbo car? u mad?) what rb25 ya getting? r32? 33? 34neo?

    Hey dude, probably a S1 R33 RB25, or even a S2.. whichever pops up when I'm looking to purchase really.. I'm not not looking for crazy power just a responsive 220 rwkw. Brakes are well due for propper work. Was thinking SS lines, new Master cyl, brake booster, rebuild the calipers, and some decent meat on the pads.

    Also I had these bits turn up yesterday and couldnt help start bolting things on!

    Posted Image

  13. Posted · Report reply

    Your articles are always really good to read, but I think in trying to make it sound like YOU, it makes for slightly difficult reading/ doesn't really flow perfectly. But you are definitly heading in the right sort of way.

    Just my illiterate 2 sentz.

    Oh and also you need more boobs.

    Cheers dude, appreciate the comment.

    Will try to deliver boobs this Wednesday :D

  15. Posted · Report reply

    Overall it reads well. There are perhaps some issues with how it flows (I had to re-read a couple of sentences to understand what you meant). Also, I feel you might be trying too hard to shoe-horn funny similes into the article.

    Oh, and there are a few spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and missing words here and there. But that's just me being the anal copywriter that I am! :)

    I like your article subjects and you have a good knowledge of the technical side of things. I like your style of writing too. Nicely done.

    You have just unwittingly made yourself a target for my PM's when I'm writing my next one! Haha thanks a lot for the feedback Mark, I really appreciate it.

    I'm trying to write in my own voice and I often find myself not making sense and jokes disappearing into the abyss, haha so I guess its not strange that it comes through in my writing.

    Are there any particular area's you think warrent obvious improvement? You mentioned flow? An example would really help and give me something to work on for the next one!

    My goal with the latest one was to add more technical details which seems to have come through nicely.

    Thanks again

  19. Posted · Edited by Mattzy · Report reply

    I've got zero experience in running businesses. However, I am massively into that kind of clothing, footwear, etc

    My comments:

    Your brand name seems locked into one audience. If I were making a clothing label I'd make sure that although it had a target market, the name would be able to cover a broader spectrum of people. Kind of like the Federation, LWR and Huffer already mentioned.

    Get good designs. Get a blog. Update it regularly with content.

    Advertise with friends, sponsor local surfing/skating/drifting/filmmakers/photographers free gear if they put your brand over their work (I strongly believe in Viral and alternate marketing), have a COOL, simple and easily navaigatable website / ecommerce system, be nichey, fresh and original.

    As for the design, the concept is cool but looks a tad generic. Also, the colours either need to go one of two ways. Punch that saturation up or half it again for that de-saturated look. ATM it looks stuck in the middle. Needs sharpening too..

    Budget and Business plan as Hans said..

    Best of luck!

    Matt

  20. Posted · Report reply

    Pretty choice start. I like the freshness, reminds me of old school Clarkson (read some) - but lacking flow and coherence. Some bits have too many adjectives/bits in it - making it unnecessarily disjointed to read.

    Also remember to be guiding your reader toward your point constantly - or the writing may meander.

    For example, instead of:

    How about:

    My Bachelor of Arts 2c :unsure:

    P.S. You have PM

    Thanks bud, I've started reading more and more about how to write properly I'm borderline overwhelmed with all the information! I don't want it to sound forced or anything unlike my personality, writing is easy. Writing well is bloody hard. My next endeavor should hopefully read a little tighter.

    Will check out some of Clarkson’s work.

  22. Posted · Report reply

    Well my uneducated opinion is: From a blog perspective it's great - especially the intro. Possible a little edgy in terms of style (not content) for magazines, but nice and fresh.

    I think that whilst the simile was entertaining and you made a good point about other reviewers saying 4 out 5 etc, perhaps it was a little too left field.

    Oh and the article was too short - you say you discussed the cars history etc - well...???? What mods etc, more details. The car looks great and obviously goes great too, but how about some more info on what's under the skin, other aspects (build quality, clever tricks, nice design features), and if it's been involved in any motorsport, etc.

    But I'm probably the last person you should listen to - all of my writing is of a technical nature and very boring to read.

    Wow, thanks dude!

    I was going for an article that was far from PC and saturated with technical details. But it sounds like I didn’t add enough fat in there. I guess I need to find the balance between giant lists of alignment settings and lightly sprinkled tidbits too small to digest.

    I'll make sure for the next one I flesh it out a little more on the spec side.

    Appreciate the comments. What sort of stuff do you write?

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