Well, I got back ok - might have to stare into a couple Woodies to destress a bit from the experience, but hey....tis time of year & all......
Gift wrap paper is needed, so in a fit of 'its a great idea at the time', went to where every-one gets a awesome bargin - yes, that iconic Kiwi 'Wal-mart', The Wharehouse. This was 'bad decision No.1.......
Even the carpark is packed, solid. Whoever it was that had parked their new black AMG Merc amongst the sea of people-movers & old Toyotas, had definitely had more brave pills than myself, in terms of risk vs reward........but I degress.....anyway, find the wrapping paper (wahoo, 2 for 1 deal today.......), & then after multiple circuits of the shed, find the sellotape. Because hey, at this time of the year, it'd just be too f#cking simple to put those 2 items within a kilometre of each other.....
Join the queue of similary happy looking people at the checkouts. They're busy. No, like, they're really really busy, must be a big day or something. Every till is going - people are lined up in long queues. Its fun, joy, & happiness for everyone, but hey, we're slowly getting there.......
Its all good. Progress is being made - the poor staff look like they've already had a big day & its not even 1.30pm. We're getting there though............
But wait - we can screw it up............opps, whats this??? NO way - you're $hitting me!!!?? And everyone else ahead & behind me in this queue..........nah, they wouldn't, surely not..........??!!
The couple now at head of line, with their 5 kids creating chaos, after having paid for their goods, now decide they want to layby probably $50 worth of stuff, a process which takes about as long as elephants mating (I've heard that's a wee while - like, queue is stopped, & we're all looking at calenders rather than watches by now......it's great, happy happy joy joy personified in excessive amounts........)
Seriously, I was a wee way back in the queue. The checkout operator was an older woman............she was still muttering apologies & 'Why do they do THAT' through gritted teeth by the time I got to her..............
Now running late for an appointment, lunch stop ain't gonna happen...........so grab coupla sausies from the bbq being operated outside. Felt bent over & given a good time, as twice usual price.............
Exit Walmart without any damage to vehicle - breath sigh of relief - on to next mission..............
This, after remembering the other great thing bout this time of the year on the way into town - caravans & campervans come out to play............the f#ckers should be banned from the roads unless its between the hours of 11pm & 5am..........
Picture being stuck on State Hwy 1 at 70kph, in a line up of traffic. Theres a caravan ahead. Its at the head of the queue strangely enough. Its wobbling all over the place like a retarded epileptic monkey on speed.........its great. Everyones having a gooood time. Once the queue ahead diminishes, I get a chance to pass, finally.
Its an older tandam axle caravan. About 18ft long. But no, its not being yanked along by the typical 1600cc Toyota Corolla...........
Its got the latest Holden Clubsport towing it...........................
Love to tell ya bout the rest of the experience, but hey, I type slooow, & I swear I can hear a Woodie or 3 calling........
Edit. And I've just remembered something I forgot to get...................nope, not going back!!!!!!!!