kerrynzl

They should raise the age to 18 , so when lil' Johnny leaves skool at 16 he gets 2 years to save up for a Godzilla to get his license in. As we know our lawmakers know what's good for us. Their infinite wisdom has based experience on age discrimination not actual hours experience. seriously though..... They should lower the driving age to 14 years , but raise the age of car ownership [maybe to 18] and make the car owner responsible for the driver. These laws already work a treat in the finance industry when the parents co-sign or go guarantor for their brats to buy something. If they don't pay the finance co goes after the parents [with no excuses] I've seen kids taught to drive in go karts or the race track in a controlled environment that are seldom a problem when they get on the road [ they generally have better skills and control of their egos ]

Haha Glenn! you must have more mechanical sympathy than me, I like to use stale gasoline. I blend 15% Stale Gas with Waste engine oil and run it in my Pajero Diesel If any body has any stale gas pm me [ it's better than fresh gas for my use ]

I've been to some quite entertaining funerals to! The worst thing about V8 supercars is the 7500 RPM Limiter The best thing about V8 supercars is watching them "live" at the top of the mountain at Bathurst [ mind you the crowd behavoir is more entertaining than the racing ] Bathurst is all about beer and more beer, hassling the cops, hassling the floozies, more beer and occasionally watching the racing cars. [ "A Westy dream" ] The grid girls are all good to!

HOW TO SELL TOOTHBRUSHES The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship. Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very good," said the teacher. Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and Iexplained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events." "Very good, Jenny," said the teacher. Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath .... Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling" "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?" "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand, I gave everybody who walked by free sample." They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog sh*t!" Then I would say,"It is dog sh*t. Wanna buy a toothbrush?" "I used the government approach of giving you something shitty, but looks good, for free, and then making you pay to get the shitty taste out of your mouth." The teacher was speechless.

Happy Birthday Ollie!!

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one. After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar: A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice. The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains. "First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice." So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it. He puts the salt on his tongue........salty but OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys........smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks........this is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.... In one second the sharp lime taste hits... .... At two seconds the Baileys curdles... At three seconds the salty, curdled taste & mucous-like consistency hits...... At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot. This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now foul tasting drink When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says,"Jesus, what do you call that drink?" She smiles widely at him and says, "Blow Job Revenge."

Cash also sucks because of the kickback from the finance company

I've got one , PM me if your still interested

Tow the f**king thing with a rope [ but remember to disconnect the driveshaft so you don't wreck the gearbox ] If thats too much effort, change the firing order so the motor spins over backwards

Hahaha! I know a "skinhead ,knuckle draggin',wannabe punk" who calls himself "Chopper" He thinks he's a badass gangster. He gets pissed off with me because I call him "Helicopter" instead of chopper [ this label stuck because of a 360 degree power chunder he performed one night ]

Bad taste joke of the week "Indian weddings are done by a celebrant" "Divorces by an accelerant"

It's safer to stay at home ! try to figure this one out. Did they go in backwards, or from the other side?

Remember the saying "They don't make them like they used to" Here's a vid of a heavy and safe 1959 Chevy Belair "Tank" hitting a "plastic piece of crap" 2009 Chevy Malibu You be the judge :

It depends on how you use statistics! The safest car ever on New Zealand roads still goes to the mighty old HQ Holden [ even to this present day ] More people were conceived in them, than killed in them so the actually contributed to the population increase. Also depends on what you call an accident "Kids in cars cause accidents" but "Accidents in cars cause kids"

go to the top of the pack!

A TRUE PLAYER One evening Terry went over to his friend Tony's house to play cards with some friends. Terry sat directly across from Tony's wife. Terry dropped a card on the floor and bent down to pick it up. When he looked across the table he saw that Tony's wife had her legs open and no panties on. He sat up and was flushed so he went to the kitchen to get a drink of water. To his surprise Tony's wife had followed him into the kitchen and said, "Did you like what u saw?". Terry said, "Yes I do". She said, "Well you can get more than that for $500". Terry thought it over and said, "OK". She said, "Come back tomorrow at 2:30, Tony will be at work". Terry came over & they had sex, he paid her and left. Later, Tony comes home and ask, "Has Terry been over here today?" She said "Yes", thinking she had been caught. "As a matter of fact he has". Tony says, good, "Because that fool came by my job this morning and borrowed $500 til this evening and said he would leave it with you". NOW THATS A TRUE PLAYER!

NOW SOLD [ Thank you to all Bimmersport members that made enquiries ] Kerry

To the members that PM'd me, if you emptied your mailbox my replies can be sent Kerry

It is quite simple to explain: from Wikipedia: WIT "Wit is a form of intellectual humour, and a wit is someone skilled in making witty remarks. Forms of wit include the quip and repartee." Do not confuse this with being a "f**kwit"

Anybody? I'm hoping to get one before the car rots into the ground

BMW E36 DOOR CARDS [ DOOR PANELS ] From an E36 Coupe [ 2 door ] Black vinyl, with grey cloth inserts This set has the inserts recovered in the factory BMW grey velour Good condition, no rips 4 pieces altogether; 1 x Drivers door R/F 1 x Passengers door L/F 1 x Rear passenger R/R 1 x Rear passenger L/R I prefer pick up because of the fragile nature of the items $200 ono Ph 027 4726071 [ no txts ]

BMW E36 HEADLINER From an E36 Coupe [ 2 door ]with sunroof This set has been recovered in factory BMW grey velour Perfect condition, no rips or sags 8 pieces altogether; 1 x Headliner 1 x Sunroof Insert 1 x Switch Panel 1 x Sunroof Wind Lacing 2 x A - Pillars 2 x C - Pillars Easy to install , ready to go I prefer pick up because of the fragile nature of the items $200 for the lot phone [027] 4726071 no txts [ I won't answer txts ]

Yeah, but if McCartney hired the services of a call girl in New Zealand [ where prostitution is legal ] would the consumer gaurantees act apply? Hmmmmmmmmm! Would the customer still come first? If a customer raped a prositute would he be prosecuted for rape or shoplifting?

Cost v Benefit tipping point?? This applies to marriage as well as cars! The mathematics on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is as follows: After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million. Assuming he got sex every night during their 5 year relationship (which would NOT have happened!) it ended up costing him $26,849 per time. On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer’s call girl, Kristen, an absolute stunner with a body like no other, charges $4,000 an hour. For anything! Had Paul McCartney ‘employed’ Kristen for 5 years, he would’ve paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for 5 years (a saving of $41.7 million). Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe, no begging, no coaxing, never a headache, plays all requests, ability to put BOTH legs around you (!!!), no bitching and complaining or ‘to do’ lists. Best of all, she leaves when you’re done, and comes back when you ask her. All at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees. Sometimes leasing/renting makes far more sense.

The Manliness Test 1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as: A. Lovemaking B. Screwing C. Taking the tonsil tickler to tuna town. 2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared: A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship. B. Your blood-test results. C. Five tequila slammers. 3. You time your orgasm so that: A. Your partner climaxes first. B. You both climax simultaneously. C. You don't miss ESPN SportsCenter. 4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is: A. Healthy, creative love-play. B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to. C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about. 5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you just had sex with is: A. The best part of the experience. B. The second best part of the experience. C. $100 extra. 6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is A. No big concern of yours. B. Not a problem, she can join your gym. C. A conservative estimate. 7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is: A. A myth B. An oxymoron C. A moron 8. Foreplay is to sex as: A. Appetizer is to entree. B. Primer is to paint. C. A long line is to an amusement park ride. 9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship? A. "I hope we can still be friends." B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep." C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, baby... population: YOU." 10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate: A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy. B. Probably Is too uptight and a waste of your time. C. Probably shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place. Scoring Guide: If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man. If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a little confused. If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!!"