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*Glenn*

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Everything posted by *Glenn*

  1. I'm feeling generous this morning (another one) Jesus goes into a bar and sits at a table in the corner. An Australian, an Irishman and a South Aucklander are in the bar. They're staring at the man sitting by himself, at a table in the corner. He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad. They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!' Sure enough, it is Jesus nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of Lion Red. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the pints slowly, one after another. After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: 'My God, the arthritis I've had for thirty years is gone. It's a miracle!' Jesus then shakes the hand of the Aussie, thanking him for the lager. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock. 'Strewth mate, the back pain I've had all my life is completely gone! It's a miracle.' Jesus then approaches the South Aucklander who knocks over a chair and a table in trying to get away from the Son of God. 'What's wrong?' says Jesus. The South Aucklander shouts, 'F** k off, I'm on a disability benefit!'
  2. While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with purple spots.. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, 'I've got bad news for you --- you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.' The man looks a little perplexed and says: 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.' The doctor answers: 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.' The man screams i n horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.' The doctor replies: 'Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice.' The next day the man seeks out a Chinese doctor figuring that he'll know more about the disease The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely rare disease.' The guy says to the doctor: 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!' The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: 'Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!' 'Oh, Thank God!' the man replies. ' Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'You no worry! Wait two weeks. Faw off by itself.
  3. Happy birthday Lance.....from Glenn and the team @ Botany Motor Worx BTW. Thanks for the offer of the Video Camera.. all sorted now. Brother inlaw still had his old one which still worked. Got it all done. I'll post up a picture in the weekend to show what I had to do to get a tape out of my old camera. Cheers Glenn
  4. *Glenn*

    3000 Members

    BMW NZ has a new M3 Cabriolet that I might be able to organise for another Botany Motor Worx event I'm workin on it....hope I can organise it Will keep you all posted Cheers Glenn
  5. I get them sent to me from all over the world. Most are R35 rating and some are a bit PC incorrect though to put on here.....I'd get banned
  6. An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls for his grandson to approach the bed. 'Lissin' a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome-plated 38-caliber revolver, so you will always remember me. The grandson smiles weakly and replies; 'But grandpa, I really donna alika guns. Howzabout you leava me you ROLEX watch instead? Gasping for air the old man answers with a snarl in his voice; 'Shuddupan lissin'. Somma day, you gonna runna da business. You gonna have a beautiful a wife, lotsa money, a biga home, and maybe a couple of bambinos.' After a slight pause to catch his breath he continues; 'Somma day, you gonna? comma home, and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do.... pointa to you watch and say > > > > "Times up?"
  7. Thanks for that Keith. Does this only apply to the kit he has ???
  8. *Glenn*

    Trans is gone

    Naughty boy Peter However it probably wouldnt have prevented it Sorry to here that its happened though. Hope they do a good job, and do the converter
  9. *Glenn*

    evo4 overheating

    Criticism of a moderators request is not tollerated on the forum. Take all this personal crap to a PM guys
  10. So.....you do that too ??? Walk in , grab a beer, find the remote and ask whats for dinner ???? I think I'm guilty too ..... but never had the rest of the show thrown at me yet though
  11. Hang on.....4 cylinder spring sets are different for a 4 cylinder & 6 cylinder What ones are you selling 4 or 6 ????
  12. *Glenn*

    3000 Members

    I could try another one....see if I can push my luck and get a brand new M3 for the day I'll do some fishing
  13. Hey Dave...theres alot of good info in here too http://www.m535i.org/officers/ra/article.html#motor
  14. Talk to "Hotwire" on here, he'll give you the right information... band expanders create more problems http://www.bimmersport.co.nz/forums/index.php?showuser=1215
  15. *Glenn*

    3000 Members

    Its probably because that there are only 50-60 adults that come in here. The rest are at school
  16. Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives. After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing. The following week they met up again to compare notes. Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!' The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only made love all night, he wants to move up our wedding date! The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask, ready for action. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, > > > > > > > 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?'
  17. Sorry we don't repair Alfa's I would suggest trying Italian Autos in Otahuhu Ph.2767245
  18. Really dosnt matter so long as it's Dot 4
  19. Thanks mate... I might be OK...one of the rellies have got one & they're going to check that it works today. There is no rush... I just want to save family movies onto a more modern medium for safe keeping, to hand down to other family members and my girls. I'd hate to loose many of these movies... there all about my life and my daughters growing up. Cheers Glenn
  20. Our old 8mm video camera has packed it in ... I have a new handicam now However, alot of our family movies are on 8mm tapes and I want to put them on a DVD Has anyone got a working camera with all the leads that I could borrow to put all our films onto DVD's Would really appreciate it if someone could help Cheers Glenn
  21. It does work, a bit of mucking around, and I dont like the idea of pushing old brake fluid up through new clutch cylinders. Just as easy to do a 2 person, pump & bleed, only takes a few minutes
  22. An E39 520 is a 6 cylinder
  23. I'm running a Simota on the 318Ti M52 B28 I like the induction noise and it is a lttle bit more throttle responsive, no idea on HP gain tho. Doesnt really matter in the little rocket. I take on anything <<<< old hoon club
  24. They dont have shims. Either the job has not been done properly, or its the aftermarket pads they used. Did they machine the rotors and fit genuine pads ???
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