briancol

Can anyone help, I need a tow bar to fit an E36 318i sedan. Either PM me or phone me on 09 270 2732 bus hours.

This brought me to tears.

If you find more than one then PM me because I'm looking for the same thing. There is a CD stacker from an E36 on Trade Me at the moment but there is no head unit or wiring loom.

What a relief, I can now go to the pub and not suffer 'Brewers Droop'

WHORES & HOCKEY PLAYER A man in the Safeway Store in Texas tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole Heads of lettuce The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, 'Some a**hole wants to buy half a head of lettuce.' As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, 'And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.' The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, 'I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?' 'Canada, sir,' the boy replied. 'Well, why did you leave Canada?' the manager asked. The boy said, 'Sir,there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there.' 'Really?' said the manager. 'My wife is from Canada.' 'No sh*t?' replied the boy. 'Who'd she play for?'

I have these on my car, $35.00 a set on Trade Me. http://www.trademe.co.nz/Trade-Me-Motors/C...n-178516761.htm

I went up there to go fishing and Graham was only a few ks from my sisters place and I called round yesterday morning before I came home. SFA fish, but a good run in the car though, but I didn't see any other bimmersporters.

BTW Westy, I was up north this weekend and met bravo. He tells me our cars are very similar so we must get together one day and compare rides.

That's bloody high k's for a car that is no more than eleven years old, but then again price would be the determining factor on that car.I would imagine that somewhere in the high teens is the asking price for it dependant on what the car is. ie 4 door, coupe or convertable.

Not quite right swiggs.The reason the keys are so expensive is that each key has a computer chip in them which is different in each car. This is why he needs the VIN number. With that information they can cut the key and insert the correct chip. No need to get it programmed later.

It always sux when you run out of beer tho Only the uninitiated, immature, foolish and ill-prepared would ever run out of beer on Bathurst day.

A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that the average Australian drinks 22 gallons of beer a year. That means the average Australian gets about 41 miles per gallon. Bloody good value that!

Ha Ha very good Glenn, and so true.

Jeez, how are they gonna vulcanize that?

Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 pounds. You've done very well so far,' said, Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, 'but for a million pounds you've only got one lifeline left - phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question......will you go for it?' 'Sure,' said Mick. 'I'll have a go!' 'Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?' A: Sparrow B: Thrush C: Magpie D: Cuckoo I haven't got a clue,' said Mick, 'so I'll use me last lifeline and phone me friend Paddy back home in Dublin '. Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him. 'Fookin hell, Mick!' cried Paddy. 'Dat's simple......it's a cuckoo.' 'Are you sure?' 'I'm fookin sure.' Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, 'I'll go wit Cuckoo as me answer.' ‘Is that your final answer?' asked Chris 'Dat it is, Sir.' There was a long, long pause, then the presenter screamed, 'Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million pounds!' The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink. 'Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build it's own nest? 'Because he lives in a Fookin clock!!!

I bought this car 3 years ago with 60.000 and barely used it.... Kilometres: 103,000km Barely used it, yet he managed 43,000kms in 3 years

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-female biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waitress; 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immedialty falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says; 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde woman with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is blonde woman with a taser. 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is a blonde and a professional weightlifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. 'Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?' The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters; 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'

Graham, try phoning Ian Gibson at Team McMillan. Ian is the used car sales manager. Tell him that I suggested you ring him, give him the details of the car and he should be able to give you a figure. Understand it will probably be below what you might expect (it will be a wholesale price) but if you want a quick sale then it's the easiest way around it.

I wouldn't waste my time at the auctions. The last few I have been to hardly anything sold, the bidding was either nonexistant or no where near the reserve. If I can remember correctly, at Turners (Penrose) last week out of about 50 lots, only 5 were sold.

Love that last one

Our beloved Prime Minister

Guys, I have never written asking for your help before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, just some friends from work, you don't know them.' I try to stay awake and look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her. Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my beemer so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls. ' When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind my car, that I noticed a hairline crack along the full length of the front air dam Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the panelbeaters?

I have 2 sets of rear vision mirrors for sale. They are from my coupe. 1st set are the standard OEM E36 mirrors painted cosmosschwartz. There is a small crack across the back of one mirror which can be repaired before they are colour coded. Price $200.00 ono. 2nd set are OEM M3 mirrors also in cosmosschwartz, very good condition however they are from a LHD vehicle. Price $200.00 ono. PM me if you are interested before I put them on Trade Me. The crack is not on the glass but on the bodywork. A small scrape of filler will rectify the problem.

A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot barman. The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, Quantum physics and spirituality, bio-mimicry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nanotechnology, and sexual proclivities. The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool." He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man responds, "About 100." Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time about league, Holdens, racing, the new BIG Mac, tattoos, Nicky Watson and women in general. Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks, "What's your IQ?" The man replies, "Err, 50, I think." And the robot says...real slowly... "So...............ya gonna vote for Helen again?"

No Glenn, that's far too technical for an old used car salesman.