Tyre Kickers - DEF

[Etwenty1 45]

This made me laugh. Feel free to add any favourites;

Tyre kicker

(n.) A person who appears interested in buying your car, but on the day displays any of the following traits.

1. Does not show up
2. Does not bring money
3. Kicks the tyres and complains about even the most minor faults
4. Seems to know barely anything about the car
5. Offers stupid money (a large amount either side of what you expected)
6. Keeps asking if he can part exchange his rusty jappa for your car, not wondering why anyone wouldn't want it
7. Assumes the car is in fine working condition just by kicking the tyres
8. Tries to drive a restoration project dozens of miles home with him.
9. Asks questions repeatedly, specifically ones mentioned in adevertising the car
10. Gets the manufacturers' name wrong
11. Asks if you are willing to transport the car without charge.
12. Makes a bid for a car placed on trademe or similar without any positive feedback
13. Makes the winning bid on Trademe then turns up and tries to negotiate
14. Dresses up as, or asserts that they are a priest or mulla in an attempt to pay less for the car
15. Is a young driver who just passed his test looking to buy a cheap old car, rice it up, and show off to thier friends. Quite likely to wreck it in a month.

[lord_jagganath 421]

16. Offers part payments and $200 per week after.

17. Single mum whom has just started work and needs a reliable knockabout, doesn't show up.

[Etwenty1 45]

18. just last week - arranges to inspect e30, just wants to talk bmws, leaves without looking at car or driving it. WTF?

[E30 325i Rag-Top 2956]

19. Refers to "my mate says" or "my mechanic says" repeatedly, as if these people know more about your car than you do...

[BreakMyWindow 1874]

20.) sEndZ yu teXts dAt luKs lyke diS 1

[m325i 709]

21.) "Would you take $5k, cash?" (Without having seen it)

[yng_750 247]

22. offers to pay by western union money order as long as you pay them to clear the funds.

23. anyone who considers buying a mazda

wait no i described c**ts by accident

[Mr2low 57]

Lol

24. Offers you a vacuum cleaner for a 1500 dollar bodykit

25. Offers you an iphone 5 for a 69 mk2 mini (my boss lol)

[blonky 2]

18. just last week - arranges to inspect e30, just wants to talk bmws, leaves without looking at car or driving it. WTF?

THIS.

[Ultrarandom 3]

26. Anyone on a facebook car sales page

[3 SERIES 93]

27. Makes an offer followed by the words 'in cash'.

What else are you planning on paying for it with you f#$king idiot, peanuts?

[liyi_92 37]

28. Mean aZ ceFFy rb20e goEz syDwaYZ hArd no wof reg trade wit 1k Ca$h strait Up G

Edited October 4, 2013 by andy_e39

[Etwenty1 45]

29. Starts phone conversation with "Hi I'm a semi-retired car dealer looking for car for a friend........" followed by an offer $1k below the asking.

I know its bullshit because car dealers have no friends.

Edited October 4, 2013 by etwenty1

[Top Secret 2]

Everyone should feel my pain. I'm trying to sell an R33 Turbo (Ultrarandom's old one), and I've had to deal with endless amounts of meataxes. It comes with the territory though. Chances are, if they say they're really keen, they offer money, ask a lot of questions.... it won't amount to anything.

Funnily enough selling my last purple E30 was an absolute dream. The guy gave me $4500 before picking up the car, and even wanted to pay the rest until I told him it wasn't a good idea!

[_ethrty-Andy_ 2132]

pretty well everyone when you are selling anything desirable from a Lancer Evolution, WRX etc to an Aston Martin

[Etwenty1 45]

Funnily enough selling my last purple E30 was an absolute dream. The guy gave me $4500 before picking up the car, and even wanted to pay the rest until I told him it wasn't a good idea!

My question is why did you stop him?

Those buyers, the ones that freely admit they know "absolutely nothing" about cars and offer to pay upfront. Unfortunately they are few and far between.

Edited October 4, 2013 by etwenty1

[_ethrty-Andy_ 2132]

27. Makes an offer followed by the words 'in cash'.

What else are you planning on paying for it with you f#$king idiot, peanuts?

I charge more in my wheeler dealing if people are giving me cash. pain in the ass having to go to the bank, and like i want a couple grand chilling under my mattress or whatever. a $20 starter motor or something is different, but whole cars, dont think so sunshine.

not even kidding though, some of you may remember a Smurf E34 525i i had for a while, the guy that brought that off me aparently stole the money and the cops tried to reposess the money from me so they could take prints, i told them it was banked already etc and way beyond me, had to go give a report of the guys description or be arrested and everything.

[yng_750 247]

I charge more in my wheeler dealing if people are giving me cash. pain in the ass having to go to the bank, and like i want a couple grand chilling under my mattress or whatever. a $20 starter motor or something is different, but whole cars, dont think so sunshine.

not even kidding though, some of you may remember a Smurf E34 525i i had for a while, the guy that brought that off me aparently stole the money and the cops tried to reposess the money from me so they could take prints, i told them it was banked already etc and way beyond me, had to go give a report of the guys description or be arrested and everything.

you might be from alicetown if..... but seriously a guy tried to pay supercheap in alice town for his oil and filter in "fresh as buds"

he even got pissed off when they said no because it was a great deal

[Etwenty1 45]

you might be from alicetown if..... but seriously a guy tried to pay supercheap in alice town for his oil and filter in "fresh as buds"

he even got pissed off when they said no because it was a great deal

What an egg, he should have sold them outside the shop and THEN bought his parts.

[Ultrarandom 3]

Everyone should feel my pain. I'm trying to sell an R33 Turbo (Ultrarandom's old one), and I've had to deal with endless amounts of meataxes. It comes with the territory though. Chances are, if they say they're really keen, they offer money, ask a lot of questions.... it won't amount to anything.

Funnily enough selling my last purple E30 was an absolute dream. The guy gave me $4500 before picking up the car, and even wanted to pay the rest until I told him it wasn't a good idea!

I had the exact same thing when trying to sell it.

Got heaps of lowball offers, offers for swaps on high K thrashed pieces.

Only decent ones I got offered swaps for in that time were an Evo IV with BCs and such then the E30 I swapped with you.

Got offered for a real nice sounding S14, had everything you'd want, then he sent me pics. Most ugly paintjob in the world with the worst bodykit and bonnet I've ever seen.

Also had a guy try and swap the Mrs Audi for "An Xbox 360, 6 tinnys and 2k cash". We said yes for fun to see what his response was and suddenly they didn't remember who we were hahaha

[Tristan 338]

Guy came to buy my 530 from Hamilton, agreed on price, then he drove all the way up with $500 less than agreed. I said no so he drove home. Ha

[yng_750 247]

just discussing this with a workmate, he recalls stubbing his toe on the wheel of a pajero he was buying, not sure if that counts as being a tyre kicker or not.

[euroriffic 607]

Had a guy real keen to buy my old e30, had to drive it to his house so he could view (first mistake), then as he reversed it down his narrow as street he kurbed the mags, then he drove it to a "mates place" which I'm pretty sure was a drug exchange. Got back to his, agreed on a price, then said he'l sort his finances and let me know. Two days later get a text saying he couldn't get a loan because he was on the individual youth benefit (150 a week) and needed a garentor on the loan and asked me if I would! Couldn't see why I didn't want to...