pjay

15 KM to a Hospital? That's ridiculous!

1. Import very well done fake designer Jeans from China. 2. Sell for profit. 3. Repeat. 4. ???? 5. Buy GT3.

So no different to a bloke saying "Yeah I run these tyres and they are sweet as mate".

Sweet name and sweet car. Wider wheels on the rear would look tits, fill those guards!

In 1997 Federal took over Hero Tire factory in Nanchang, Jiangxi, China (100% fully owned without government joint venture) also known as Federal Tire Jiangxi (JFT). Reviews: http://www.tyretest.com/pkw_sommerreifen/h...hz_1/index.html

Store it in the South Island.

Lower it 20mm and set it off with Basketweaves.

Holyf**kingshit you are a lucky man! That looks terrible.

I just learned: BBS RS 001 and 003 are both ET25. The difference between them is 001's are 15's and 003's are 16's. Well that's what the internet told me. http://www.vwwatercooled.org.au/f39/bbs-rs-list-14935.html Interesting.

It's nice IRL.

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his bum, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his bum, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue ball he measures it first!"

A guy gets pulled over by a cop for speeding. As the cop is writing up the ticket, the guy asks, "Can you arrest me for calling you a filthy name?" "Yes" replies the cop. He then asks, "Can you arrest me for thinking something?" "No" replies the cop. "Well then," says the man, "I think you're A c**t! On the plane, the captain has just given his in-flight briefing and have forgotten to turn of the microphone. So the entire plane hears the captain say to the co-pilot: "What I could really use now is a hot cup of coffee and a blowjob!" One of the air-hostesses hears this and hurries off to the cockpit to inform them that they have left the microphone one. Then one of the passengers yells after her: "Don't forget the coffee honey!" A woman dies and floats up to the pearly gates and is waiting and has a chat with St Peter who explains that there is a bit of a queue today. With that a loud and drawn out scream is heard........ "What was that" she goes "That is them drilling the hole in the head to fit the halo" said St Peter Then another scream is heard followed by another "And those?" she said "Ah! that would be them drilling the holes for the wings" St Peter said "Would it be alright if i errr went to the other place, you know, down below please" said the worried lady " But if you go down there my child it will be continious rape and sodomy for all eternity" said St Peter who was now getting worried about the woman. " Well yes" she said " but I already have holes for that" A woman who is beaten black and blue, goes to the doctor. Doctor: What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he beats me to a pulp." Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. Whenever your husband comes home inebriated, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it.Just gargle and gargle." Two weeks later she returns to the doctor,and looks reborn and fresh again. Woman: "Doc, That was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I gargled with chamomile tea and gargled and nothing happened." Doctor: "You see how keeping your mouth shut helps!" I just applied for a building permit for a new house. It was going to be 100ft tall and 400ft wide with 9 turrets at various heights and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system. It would have parking for 200 cars and I was going to paint it snot green. The Town council told me to f**k off. So I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a Mosque. Work starts on Monday... A professor at Texas A&M University was giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?' About 90 students raise their hands. 'Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?' About 40 students raise their hands. 'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?' About 15 students raise their hand. 'Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?' Three students raise their hands. 'That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further.... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?' Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand. The professor takes off his glasses, and says 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.' The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?' Bubba replied, "From way back there I thought you said Goats." Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming. But every now and then he'd hear an internal reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality. Whispering...... Dave............ Dave ............. Dave........ Dave........ .......... you're a vet

I had a German plumber round the other day to fix my shower. He accidentally connected the gas supply to the water supply. I guess old habits die hard. Cuddling your wife after sex is like staying on the toilet after a dump. What do you call a pointless race that covers around 2,200 miles throughout France? The French. I have sleepless nights trying to remember the difference between amnesia and insomnia. I wonder how people coped before there were estate agents… Man 1: Would you like to buy my house? Man 2: Yes. I’ve just completed The Beatles: Rock Band, and it’s got the most depressing ending ever: John gets shot, Paul gets divorced, George gets cancer and Ringo lives. There’s a film on about the Chinese Civil War tonight, but I won’t bother watching it. I’ve already seen Attack of the Clones. After spending three years as a pissed up degree student, I decided it was time to give something back. Traffic cones mostly. Although Anthony Hopkins is Welsh, he’s never been accused of sheep shagging. It’s all down to the silence of the lambs. Here’s a line that always makes me laugh… ________________________________________ …Michael Jackson’s ECG. It’s always worried me that God forgot to include prohibitions on rape and child abuse in the Ten Commandments. Then again, it’s never bothered the Catholic Church. I don’t know if I’m a pirate or a pyromaniac. I can’t stop burning DVDs.

She does doesn't she.

If you have the time, chuck up some costs on E30 and E36 related coilovers and I'm sure there will be at least one biter.

MP350?

Duckeater - Actual tears streaming down my face. sh*t. *:0 "MY FACE IS ON FIRE!!!!" !,! "Hi. I am a rabbit" % "I feel like I am a mosquito looking directly at you." | "I am displeased with my unibrow." < "Pointy hats make me sad." > "Now my hat is upside-down and I don't feel any better about it." (::: "I feel like I am the underside of a pregnant dog." :0& "I LOVE PRETZELS!!!! NOM! NOM! NOM!" :*( "You make me cry sparkly tears." {:| "I am a Frenchman." Q:| "I'm Davy f**king Crockett." :$ "I am trying to look unimpressed, but someone drew a squiggly mouth over my real mouth and this must be terribly confusing for you. I am sorry."  &=0E) Hello, I am The Swedish Chef from The Muppet Show! (Before translation: Bork! Bork! Bork!) X-P - Hello, I am a corpse. J:-| Hello, I am not amused by my hairdresser's decision to 'surprise' me with a 'flock of seagulls' hairstyle. H%-{ Hello, I just had an anvil fall on my head. Do you have an aspirin, by any chance? .-) = Hello, have you seen my left eye lying about the place? ~:-) = im harry potter i-o = "Ow, someone just poked my right eye. wtf." |:-) "My unibrow completes me." :=) "I was genetically modified to smell things better." o-( "I was genetically modified to not be able to wear glasses and girls never know if I am winking at them, because it looks like I am just blinking." :-Q "I just drooled a little bit." <:3 )-- "bird's-eye view of a mouse" ( . Y . ) "Huge boobs" ( o Y o ) "Huge areolas" ( . ) "Your ass" ( o ) "Your ass after anal sex" ( O ) "Your ass after prison" > "Check out my goatee, it's awesome" =^.^= "meow!" ._^ "Happy Sloth from the Goonies" "> "I'm a chicken LOL"

If you're srs, Id say give Ray a call guys - 0212HELLBM. Easy.

I love concave!

I cursed at it.

And will forever still be that, a game. I suck at "realistic" type games.

OH MY GOD. THAT WAS MY FIRST EVER PHONE. Not that Alcatel crap. I got one of the ones you posted in like 2nd for off a mate for swapping a gameboy! It has changeable face thingys toooo!!

Alcatel changeable faceplate thingy, something like this: Nokia 2280 - BEST PHONE EVER, had for about 4 years through High School. Dramatic upgrade to Nokia N91 purely for the reason it was stainless steel.

yaaaaaaaay

W O W A tubbed 18x12 Simmons running E36. Aussies love their Simmons don't they.