Phil-540i 166 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 Well, here we go again guys, 24th Dec rapidly approaching, (apparently its now over 360 days since the last one.... ) so pressure is on for bright ideas on what you're buying her........your partner - wife - mistress - other half - significant other - brains of the operation - lover - girl friend - that female in your life that probably means something to ya most days anyway........ So wheres the bright ideas on what to get............?? Being male, sometimes we try the simple approach - "Whaddya want for Xmas??" type of thing, but its often discovered 'that's too simple'............. so turns into a bit of a guessing game that you've got to get fairly right, or, your life will be affected by your screwing it up so badly.......... Things to avoid - the classic 'We won't buy each other presents this year'............this is a 'fail', anyway ya look at it - buy her nothing, & you'll be guaranteed that her non-present to you will be something you've secretly wanted forever & a day. Thus, you'll feel like a prat, & whatever you buy to 'get outa jail', will end up costing 3 x what ya woulda spent anyway. (Reminding her 'we weren't buying each other presents this year', at this time, is also an epic fail for male gender.........) The other way this goes slightly pear-shaped, is, if in 'good boy' mode, thinking ahead a bit, you buy her what she has been secretly wanting, hints like expensive $hit circled in catalogues can be used, & then she gets you nothing - her defence while opening what you've brought will probably be 'Aww, you shouldn't have, I thought we weren't buying presents this year.........', 3 hrs later when you're still sulking this'll be followed up with 'Don't you ever listen to me.......??' The ever popular 'Buy me something useful', should also be avoided. Apparently, theres a rumour that the different genders have slightly different ideas on what 'useful' actually is. A new washing machine, iron, vacuum cleaner, & any kitchen appliance, will probably be viewed as unsuitable Xmas gifts. Bathroom scales, also a no-no. Any clothing for her - also out, bigtime!! You'll buy it too big, too small, too short, too tight, too sexy & if its none of that - it'll be the wrong colour............ Buying anything for the man-cave & giving it to her for Xmas, probably ain't gonna end well for you either. (This includes that Sidchrome socket set too...........) Other 'fails' to avoid - anything from The Wharehouse. Whilst you might 'get a bargin', high odds it'll cost ya lots longterm......... Cheap, or unpopular, or unsuitable music. Mariah Carey springs to mind, as does One Direction, Justin Bieber, Boyszone & basically anything that you yourself are going to have to listen to with her. Unless you live in Gorrrre, (or have married your cousin), anything by Patsy Rigger or with guitars / banjos, is also to be a non-happening thing............ I'm sure that after nother coupla Woodies I'll be able to think of some more gooood info, but feel free to add your own in the meantime too........... Above all else though, try to get it right guys, & may you & her both have smiles on your dial over the Xmas period. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jonesrp 63 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 Dont pick on people from Gore...that extra finger makes all the difference on the banjo.. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Allanw 1052 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 I got her a cook book, some cooking show DVD's and..... a chopping board. All sorted. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phil-540i 166 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 (edited) I got her a cook book, some cooking show DVD's and..... a chopping board. All sorted. Had some sacrificial offerings this year have we?? Been spending a bit too much on take-aways maybe?? If so, whilst your subtle hint may have some merit, probably a good idea that you've left the new knife set outa that list........ We're 'not buying for each other' this year............on any other year part of what we do is try to find & include the most useless low value voucher we can for each other, as a 'tongue in cheek, take the pi$$' sorta thing............ Edited December 21, 2013 by Blue-540i Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gjm 3194 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 Just make sure that when you are buying *that* present, you have polished your "it's not for me, it is for my partner - wife - mistress - other half - significant other - brains of the operation - lover - girl friend" (© Blue-540i) line to be delivered to the attractive sales assistant. Surprisingly, I did once get away with the line "the only thing in that shop which would look good on you was the sales assistant"... Still not sure why. Hope to find out, one day. Do not buy anything which may involve the kitchen or any sort of housework. I don't care if the maiden in question has cited that she adores something, wishes she had something, or can't believe she has managed to live without *it* for so long. Whatever *it* is. This way, disaster lies. It's like the Titanic, ffs. You can see the iceberg coming, know there is more under the surface than is being revealed, but still choose to ignore it. You deserve whatever response you get. Eventually. Buy something she has not mentioned. That she hasn't hinted at. That - preferably - she has absolutely no idea that she is even the tiniest bit vaguely interested in. This seems to be the impossible dream, but go on - if you've been with her more than 5 minutes, you can do it. It *does* require work, but - and trust me - on this, it is worth it. Ohmigod, yessss... Get it right and it's worth it. Yup - it's nigh on impossible. But make the effort. She'll (probably) appreciate your efforts (if you're lucky). You'll know how effective your choice was very soon - either it will be immediately evident (frying pan / head interaction), or you'll never see the item in question ever again (despite assertions that she loves it, even if she can't name *it*), or maybe, just maybe, it will be displayed. Either for all to see, or just in the privacy of your close, personal company. (I wish you good luck with that.) Regardless, get something. And be sure to have a damn good reason why. Nothing is not better than something you thought she might not like. At least, not if you want to have another chance to buy anything for her... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phil-540i 166 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 (edited) I like what you're saying there Graham, all soundz koool & semi-sensible, even to me - only thing I can add is 'don't be buying her those alloys for your car', as I can easily see ya might be heading down that road of pain.................. Edit ; Gift-wrapped, with ribbons, won't help either................... Double Edit - Reminds me - how is it that when you're a male buying something at this time of the year, the usually female counter dolly / card swiper always, like always says 'Would you like that gift-wrapped??'. Like what, trick question week maybe?? On what planet does this guy look like he wants to attempt wrapping it?? Seriously........... "Yea honey, I've got 3 hours of my life to spend wrapping these earrings so it can still be wrong & look like something a pre-schooler did - I really want to do that".......... Edited December 21, 2013 by Blue-540i Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
polley 916 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 Many good lessons in this thread. Since her car got broken into (smashed window), is a replacement window a good present? Was gonna keep an eye out at pick a part. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gjm 3194 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 (edited) Many good lessons in this thread. Since her car got broken into (smashed window), is a replacement window a good present? Was gonna keep an eye out at pick a part. Errmm... No. I bought alloys for Mrs M once. Learn from my mistakes. Nice try, but this falls into the same category as kitchen kit. She needs that window, and you must buy something she doesn't know is necessary, but it needs to be that one thing she can't live without. Drink alcohol. Get hammered. Write a list. DO NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. (I appreciate that with credit cards and the internet this may be too late..) Review list in the morning. If it still seems a good idea, or any lightbulbs flash over your head (figuratively speaking) then the listed item may be a good idea. Edit: I have been following my own advice, can't see straight (although it seems to be helping my hayfever) and now need to edit everything I type! (Having read it twice!!!) Edited December 21, 2013 by gjm 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
deeveus 81 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 Get her an apron and a new vacume cleaner. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
polley 916 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 Get her an apron and a new vacume cleaner. My dad did that once, including a wheel barrow for the garden. Wasnt happy times. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gjm 3194 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 Get her an apron and a new vacume cleaner. You're unlikely to make it to Boxing Day, let alone the New Year! If you do, let us know your secret before you tell everyone else! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
_ethrty-Andy_ 2122 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 my "girl" got a new viscous fan clutch and a fuel filter. forever alone. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phil-540i 166 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 Get her an apron and a new vacume cleaner. And if south of The Kilmog - a box of Speights too ae........... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gjm 3194 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 And if south of The Kilmog - a box of Speights too ae........... Speights? You after something special? Lion or DB... :-D Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tristan 338 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 Many good lessons in this thread. Since her car got broken into (smashed window), is a replacement window a good present? Was gonna keep an eye out at pick a part. Asking for trouble, mate. She'll get the window either way and it'll look like an easy way out Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kiwi535 538 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 yep i am on a mission tomorrow Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
euroriffic 603 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 Mine gets a car for Xmas 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lord_jagganath 421 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 My boss got his wife a replacement hubcap from Christmas. It's going to be a long weekend. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gjm 3194 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 yep i am on a mission tomorrow Hopefully that is a mission in the sense you are searching for that right gift, and not hoping to find something that should fit that description? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kiwi535 538 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 Hopefully that is a mission in the sense you are searching for that right gift, and not hoping to find something that should fit that description? first option of course!IWill a 530d touring be alright? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phil-540i 166 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 Many good lessons in this thread. Since her car got broken into (smashed window), is a replacement window a good present? Was gonna keep an eye out at pick a part. Hmmm - a replacement window, is tooooo easy - anyone can do that - ya need to be thinking outside the square a bit my people reckon. What I'd suggest, is buy her some Gladwrap, (don't be buying that cheap $hitty knock-off stuff - gotta be the real deal ridgey didgey 'Gladwrap'. Giftwrap it, add her favourite colour ribbon. . Tell her she can use it as a new window (this avoids more windows being broken in the future......). Then lean in close, & whisper in her ear "If theres any left over, can ya wrap my lunchs with it please........." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gjm 3194 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 first option of course!IWill a 530d touring be alright? Dahling! I didn't know you cared! <Ahem!> I'm quite sure she will be very happy and that automotive-related gifts will be acceptable in this case. :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kiwi535 538 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 ahem (the 530 would be mine).Actually the no 1 daughter is the major stumbling block at the Moment.She has had a tough year at university and has done very very well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Allanw 1052 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 Had some sacrificial offerings this year have we?? Been spending a bit too much on take-aways maybe?? Actually... I'm the cook, (but she's good too) - I just rebuilt myself an old kenwood mixer, that I told her is my Christmas present... I don't think she knows how much it really cost me to do . We don't have TV, so DVDs appear a LOT for presents . She also tried to set fire to our old chopping board 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hybrid 1039 Report post Posted December 21, 2013 f**k ... Were obviously now joint income .... I get my last bonus and she says its yours to spend how you wish ... rad So her birthday comes around and I think, Im gonna buy a couple of decent mountain bikes for us both to get into blah blah... Anyways, My birthday rolls around and she says .. I got you your mountian bike for your birthday as you got me mine for mine. no present for me ...... WTF .... Anyways .. for xmas I said I cant be f**ked ... lol 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
