39KiwiTouring

Hunt around for a E46Ti.

Also put your location as well Tony if you ask for anything guys local love to help out around here if it is their expertise.

Driving E39's doesn't mean you to rush out and own an E30 - M3 exceptioned of coarse or convertable, well may be it does lol. Nice intro and nice car, good year facelifted after 01, check the cooling system out preven/main the key with those.

Thats Courtney street corner, bottom of coronation ave, it would be only 1.5k to Hospital from there, 15k from there would be oakura nearly.

Look at the price of petrol f**ked aye?

Get a leak down test done before you buy it for piece of mind. Fill coolant expansion tank to see if light goes out, the seller should really sort this sort of thing before listing?

Touring, sedan, location, k's, why are you wrecking it panel damage,??? are the rims buckled, lol heaps of E39 parts available through this forums sponsors, so a little more info might help your cause. Even the year.

That place is Parklane - David Scott or Scotty, hell of a nice fella real character. The other one is John Cameron from Hutt Wholesale cars he knows euro's he is in the Jag club, either of those two would be the best bet for all of Wellington.

I just heard a 530i on a yard with a full remus exhaust sounded superb

True true, you will need a warm hair dryer for at least a good half an hour to get that off, if they are chinese copies of the 3-d injection moulded badging they have green VHB, very high bonding adhesive which is exactly that. Best to probably leave it was it factory?

Good wrecker, look at all the parts on it motor box, wheels, interior, panels....

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. This is an account as relayed to paramedics after a chili cook-off in Texas: Take note of the comments of the first two judges. For those of you who have lived in Texas , you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park . Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield. Frank: 'Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.' Here are the scorecard notes from the event: CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.. Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting s***-faced from all of the beer. CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice.. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb.. woman is starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.. Screw them. CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone. CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about judge number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin,and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili? Judge # 3 - No Report

The Trucker A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Kalgoolie. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, I want your ugliest woman and a burnt chop!! The Madam is astonished. 'But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a lovely three-course meal. The trucker replies, 'Listen sweetheart, I ain't horny . . . . . I'm homesick. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, the teacher decides to have the class take a quick quiz to make sure that they were studying their bibles. A boy called Rick was sitting behind Johnny and on his way to school Rick had found a needle. he decided to have some fun with Johnny. "Who is the son of our Lord God?" asked the teacher. Rick jabbed the needle into Johnny's bum. "Jesus Christ!!" yelled Johnny. "Thank you Johnny" said the teacher "but next time put your hand up and wait for me to call your name." Johnny turned around in his seat and gave a Rick a dark look. "Where do bad people go when they die?" asked the teacher. Rick again stabbed Johnny with the needle. "Bloody hell!!" yelled Johnny. "Johnny!" cried the teacher "Don't yell. You are right, again. But put your hand up and wait for me to call your name." Johnny sat in his chair fuming. "What did Eve say to Adam when she gave birth to their 10th child?" asked the teacher. Johnny immediately turned around in his chair, stared at Rick and said "You stick that thing in me again and I'll break it!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.' ******************************* MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. ******************************* FEMALE PROCEDURE: (What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!) 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided! 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake.

What does this country have in common with my wife's fanny. Labour has ruined both of them. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I went to the garden centre today and bought a Christmas Tree. The assistant asked me "Will you be putting that up yourself?" I replied: "No you sick f**k, I'll be putting it up in my living room" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST? The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and She asked the question: 'When you die and go to Heaven... Which part of your body goes first?' Suzy raised her hand and said: 'I think it's your hands.' 'Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?' Suzy replied: 'Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.' 'What a wonderful answer!' the nun said. Little Johnny raised his hand and said: 'Sister, I think it's your feet.' The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. 'Now, Little Johnny, why do you Think it would be your feet?' Little Johnny said: 'Well, I walked into Mummy and Daddy's bedroom the other night, Mummy Had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying: 'Oh ! God, I'm coming!' If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her." The Nun fainted!......

A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked. "Because every time I talk to a woman with breasts like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried.. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!' And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed, 'but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!' And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.' The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ...... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'

One hot summer day, Rangi came to town with his dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into the pub for a cold one. Twenty minutes later, a cop entered the bar and asked, "Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?" Rangi called out, “It’s mine, mate." "Your dog seems to be in heat" the cop said. Rangi replied, "No way. She's cool as 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree." The cop said, "No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred." "No way," said Rangi. "That dog don't need bread. She ain't hungry cause I fed her this mornin'." The exasperated cop said, "NO! You don't understand; your dog wants to have sex!" (You gotta love this) Rangi looked at the cop and said, "Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog."

My First phone was a NEC heard of them?, didn't think so it resides at my dads home bar in his cellphone collection. here it is below Had the erickson further up the thread can't remember my third, what ever work gave me I paid my last cell phone bill in 1995 had a work supplied one since then.

Until someone can report on the search they had for a 540is E39 and what vehicles they found between 96-03 and what spec i.e motorsport and what K's then $25k estimate isn't entirely out of the realms of possibility, especially going buy the fact that a 530i Auto 2003 models are in the low $20's. Depends on the car.

I enjoyed reading the build thread, and in no doubt if anyone wanted a V12 put into a E34 this man is the one to call. It's about 6 months too early for me, I live 15 mins from manfeild.

Managed to avoid until now.